I see this more and more in my neighborhood. Life, relationships to children, marriages, or personal fulfillment are not what the expectation was. An escape is necessary to literally take people out of their own heads. Incessant shopping, binge eating, even gossip is a form of addiction. People get addicted to talking about the lives of others in order to avoid dealing with their own life. I think even running errands constantly, or organizing your pantry like the guy that pulverized Julia Roberts in "Sleeping With the Enemy", are also means of distraction. At the stage of life where we don't have babies at home to take up all our time and energy, since the kids are in school full time, your own home can feel incredibly lonely. Silence can be very scary, since all you hear are your own thoughts, and you don't want to hear your truth since it may implode your carefully constructed life. The dress, Marilyn, the concept of imbalance, all compare to the vast challenges of living in an age of social media.
Take Instagram, where people feel validated or loved based on how many followers they have. It can be such fake bullshit; a person with a billion followers can secretly be beyond miserable. I admit that anyone, including myself, could be seen as a hypocrite, since I'm in fact using social media for my own purposes. Social media can promote major asymmetry in our minds, since we are constantly tricked into false security and illusions. People post photos in order to get likes. Likes are dangerous when we rely on them for validation. Anyone who posts a ton of stuff, then claims they don't give a shit what anyone thinks of them, is lying to themselves. They need the likes just as they need to pee; it's a relief. Likes feel good. You feel seen, appreciated, momentarily important. This is a drug like any other. It's very scary raising kids in this era. How can we teach our kids to feel genuine love and security when they are basing those feelings on how many people liked the snapchat photo of them looking like a deer on acid??? I don't get the whole snapchat thing, but I'm always very late to any tech party. My kids try to convince me that the filters are cool. I think they're ridiculous, and tell them I don't have any desire to see their perfect faces distorted. I can't stand it. I like seeing them as is. I want others to see me as is, not a purported vision of me. I know I put myself out there, so anyone that can't see me clearly doesn't belong in my life.
I've said that before, and I'll keep holding on to that. I don't want a ton of superficial connections, I'd rather a few true, deep ones. No one admits to wanting otherwise, but most people don't live by that. You've never heard someone say, "I prefer to have a lot of phony relationships instead of three friendships of quality". Yet, so many still seem to be running for mayor. It's a huge challenge to remind ourselves that all we really need is within us, when the undertow of social media can drown us. But we can look at it like this; it is the very challenge of asymmetry that will keep us balanced. We, myself as well, must work harder to weed out inauthenticity. We must constantly teach ourselves what's real and what's not. We will be stronger when we internalize this. There is many a night I've wasted trolling things on Instagram that have zero to do with me. I always hate myself for it after. It's so stupid, and I know better. But I get sucked in. I've never thought,"wow, what a fulfilling evening I just had, perusing the accounts of complete strangers. Now I can sleep peacefully, knowing what so and so did for vacation three years ago. " In yoga, you do the exact same movements on both sides of the body. Achieving balance takes focus and commitment. It's not always easy, but it sure feels good when everything in our lives is aligned. It is both our right and responsibility to maintain balance. No one can mess with your center. If there's someone who throws you out of whack, that is a sign to perhaps let them go. Only keep those who really see you for you. If the most famous woman in the world had this problem, chances are the rest of us can relate. Go ahead, it's ok to post stuff and check your IG. I'm going to also. Just understand how meaningless it is. Oh, and wear something red ❣❣🖍🖍, I think that was the original purpose to this article ❌⭕️❌⭕️.