Listen to Bob Dylan- Things have Changed

Scarfing it Down

I must say that I’ve never worn my hair like this, all wrapped up in a scarf over a high half top knot. I must also say that I freaking loved it. When we do a photo shoot for the blog the goal is to get at least 8 to 10 different looks. This is for obvious reasons of efficiency. While it would be easy to throw on a cute dress or one showstopper labeled item, that to me is both boring and lazy. As a person, I’m really not a shortcut gal. I try to do everything with max intentions, yielding the fullest results. If I can’t deliver all of me then I’ll sit it out until the right vibe strikes. I’d rather do nothing than do something halfway.

That being said, it’s a fun challenge to put together ten fashion looks that require creativity and uniqueness. I like to keep you guys interested, and I’d never insult you by delivering anything less than what you came here to see. Enter this look for today. I bought these splatter paint pants at Diesel years ago. They’re cute but not particularly flattering. I think I’ve worn them only once. I have to hike them over my butt, which requires me being in the right mood to deal with that (again, once). But they’re cool. I had on this cropped black tank from the previous outfit, and I love quickly thinking of ways to build a whole new look off of a previously worn piece. It’s also a time saver. Since the waist line on the pants doesn’t do me any favors, it required something to go over it to camouflage any belly that poked out. I added my trusted boyfriend blazer for relaxed structure, complementing the chill vibe of the pants. Wearing flats or sneakers would be cool to dress this down, but I put on heels to dress it up. A cropped ankle shortens legs and a heel combats that. Ok, fine. A cute outfit but nothing to write home about (or a blog post). It’s fun to mix prints that are in the same color family, so I reached for my black and white skull printed Alexander McQueen scarf which I’m obsessed with, and just wound it around my head. Dug it!!! Boom, instant flash and fun.

This is one of those instances where an accessory and a bit of boldness carry a look. The red sunnies were a nod the the color scheme on the pants, a tie in. This scarf look is definitely something I’ll add to my repertoire, especially on an island vacation. Have your accessories enhance your outfits by finding new and creative ways for them to serve you. The best answer is often the non obvious one.

Listen to New Kids on The Block- Step by Step

Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes 🥔

No meatloaf emoji?? Let’s work on that.

I’m kicking it old school here with this timeless retro classic. Meatloaf was a staple in every household in the 1950’s, so over the years took on an outdated, kitschy stereotype. But its sooooo good and deserves a comeback. Plus, it’s a snap to make. What’s outdated about a fast, hot, delicious meal? Nada.

I’ve been making this since before I had kids. It’s nice to go back to our oldies but goodies. It feels homey and safe, the way home-cooked food should feel. I like to serve this with mashed potatoes. Rice or quinoa work nicely too. A simple, clean starch that will let the meatloaf have the spotlight. A side dish sometimes just serves as a support.

Ingredients:

A pound (and a quarter) of extra lean ground beef or turkey

One egg lightly beaten

A tbps each of garlic power and paprika OR Jerusalem spice. If using paprika you can add a tsp of cumin.

Half a tsp dried thyme

A tsp salt and tsp pepper

Preheat oven to 350. Line a loaf pan with foil, spraying the foil well with nonstick spray. Gently mix all ingredients and pour into pan. You can sprinkle any type of breadcrumbs on top if you like. Either way, drizzle olive oil on top of the meatloaf to crisp it up. It makes a difference. Bake for one hour. Slice and serve. Feel free to add half a cup of your favorite finely diced veggie, such as onions, any color pepper, or carrots. Not necessary, but I’d give it a light sauté for a couple minutes to start to enhance the flavors.

While the meatloaf bakes, peel and chunk six potatoes, doing more for a larger group. Everyone has a version of mashed potatoes they love, but after boiling the potatoes in salted water until soft, I mash mine with homemade chicken stock and sprinkle on some garlic powder. This eliminates unhealthy margarine and packs it with flavor. Add the stock a half cup first, then add more little by little according to your preferred texture. I like mine chunky. Make sure you serve this in pearls and an apron with a psychotic smile plastered on your face. You know, the one hiding the evil suburban thoughts swarming in your head that die with Ambien each night. Not that I would know...

Human Math

I have always been terrible at math. My brain definitely wraps it’s head around literature, history, psychology, and philosophy way better than anything based on numbers. On the SAT’s I got a 710 on verbal, a fact I’m still so proud of, and a 500 on math. That was after two years of math tutoring prep. I’m fascinated when people use numerals as a language, but I can’t relate; I stick to communicating with words, which is really so much harder than one would think...

I actually asked the Universe the other day, during one of our many daily conversations, how it knows to speak English. It replied, "I speak to you in the language that you need.”  That made me smile, how all these unseen forces can hold each of us up in our own way in which we understand. It’s a tailored language. But I’ve been thinking lately about Human Math, as in evaluating who adds to and subtracts from my life. Who multiplies my joy and who divides my heart into fractions. Which people are parts to my whole, and what percent of people I know enhance my human experience. I’ve also been conversely aware of whose life I’m certain I add to. This awareness is slightly uncomfortable since it involves some ego, but then again it’s nice to know that we are a source of comfort, safety, and guidance for others. It’s why we are here, right? It’s been a true exercise in self study; the adding and taking away of characters in “The Life and Times of Jess”.

It’s not possible that we don’t outgrow certain people. After all, we are meant to constantly shed skin. This will include subtracting humans who hinder our progress. This is not selfish, it’s flowing towards the answer to your personal equation. How wonderful and beautiful that we can constantly be adding more special souls into our lives? Even on the last day of someone’s life, they can make a new connection before leaving their body. The world is a huge place full of goodness. We can add as many quality folks as we like. Our hearts are never 100% full in this way; it expands to accommodate whoever we want to take in.

So I have this new friend. Since he’s new, the friendship isn’t big in the number of months or years we’ve known each other. He’s said to me a few times that I don’t really know him well since I haven’t known him for long. This is, and has always been irrelevant in my life; when I connect I feel instantly close. It can be a connection based on three minutes of direct energy sharing. Longevity can be cool if the person you’ve known for 30 years has added to your happiness, but it’s a detriment if they’ve been an asshole for such a long time, thereby taking away peace of mind. I don’t understand the notion that someone remains in your life as a result of longevity. Um, who cares?? Time isn’t as important as the summation of good feelings someone can give you. I know so many people  who take shit from others, simply because they’ve “known them forever”. Whether it’s a parent, sibling, spouse, or so called friend, no one should ever use time against you. There is only strength in numbers if the equation yields the correct outcome. When things don’t add up with those we’ve chosen, we will get the wrong answer every time. It’s a great practice exercise to think about the people in your life, do they add to or subtract from your well-being? Most people won’t be neutral. Almost everyone contributes something, whether it’s a plus or minus. Who you add to your own life is entirely your choice. Take away what doesn’t serve you, before you’re the factor that gets taken away. Numbers people find comfort in how concrete and final math is. There’s a rigidity to arithmetic. It’s not up for discussion or debate. The roles others play in your life can also be that clear. The sum of your joy is determined by those you assign the parts to. Our potential for love is infinite. I’ll never be able to figure out what an 18% tip is. I can’t help my third grader with his math homework. Human math I’ve become quite skilled at, and am reveling in a stage of life where those I have chosen do indeed complete me. Holes becoming whole is homework I’ve embraced. I’m still learning, and the lessons are not without pain. I might never Ace this, but I’m studying my ass off and making constant progress. And I’m 100% proud of myself.

Turban Jungle

Having my Kourtney Kardashian moment in this leopard turban. I’ve admired her style for years, and I think she often outdoes Kim. There’s a definite effortlessness to the way Kourt dresses (she told me I can call her that), and you know that’s my thing as well. Her style is chic, sexy, and relaxed. Even when she’s more decked out, there’s a naturalness to it. This whole look felt like something she’d wear.

This parachute DKNY skirt is one of my warm weather favorites. It’s so cool to wear a light, long skirt when it’s hot. I like to juxtapose the overpowering skirt with an itty bitty crop top. It breaks up the black and adds sexiness to the seriousness. This look called for a fun pop of something. After all, too much black in the summer can feel misplaced.

I love animal prints, always have. I love adding a dash of animal print to any neutral palette. Instant personality. I tried to do the turban/headscarf thing for years, but to no avail; I felt like an idiot. I’m finally hitting my stride with stuff like this, and it’s so fun to play around more. Tip; just because something doesn’t suit you at one point, doesn’t mean it will never work. Maybe you just need to hit more of a sweet spot style wise. Maybe it’s a confidence thing. Fashion and style should be ever evolving. Who the heck wants to look the same for 70 years?? Keep playing around. Oh, and stay away from dudes who refer to themselves as “Lord”. Love you, KK. 

Fresh Gauze

This gets the prize for my favorite summer dress ever. Flowy, gauzy, soft, sexy, and easy; all words that ideally describe that summer livin’ mood. Until I hit my style sweet spot, I’d look at those chicks who always seemed to nail it and feel a bit envious. How they managed to lock down the perfect look with such natural ease. One dress, a couple of key placed accessories and done. That seemed to evade me at a time where I wasn’t as in tune with my body, my fashion, and mostly myself. Which is all proof that the more centered we are in our essence, all the offshoots that stem from our core will emerge as they should. Overthinking clothing most likely indicates unnecessary overthinking in more important areas too. Basically, to look natural and flowy, one must feel that way inside first. Or the dress just won’t read as it should. But this is a fashion post, so back to that.

I rekindled my love with Urban Outfitters this summer. Reunited and it feels so good. This perfect dress made me feel beautiful each time I wore it; the absolute point to clothing (in addition to us not getting arrested for public indecency). Belted or not, layered with a lot of hippie gold jewelry, gold Birkenstocks, and I felt wonderful. This amazing hat was from Urban too. It was a great change from my usual summer fedora style. The yellow lensed sunglasses were so perfectly 70’s. This was my fave look for floating through the summer months, and it’s my new must take for all vacations going forward. Perfect for the beach, day, or night (no hat at night), this one piece wonder delivered each time. It gave me that desired fresh feeling all chicks aim for.

Dr. Melfi

Even Dr. Melfi, Tony’s psychiatrist on The Sopranos, has a shrink. Experts on human behavior are still humans themselves. No one goes through this human experience unscathed. We all need help, support, advice, and guidance. We are born with many skills of subconscious resiliency, but with a surprising lack of coping skills. Navigating emotional waters is a tough gig that will violently toss us ashore; leaving us gasping, breathless, and drained. A fellow person throwing us a life preserver truly does help us literally preserve our lives.

So first off, thank you to the quality, concerned doctors, analysts, social workers, therapists, gurus, and spiritual teachers who help keep us afloat. Secondly, and this is not a secret, I’m fairly adept at human psychology. It’s why I can write these posts. I have heard my whole life that I should be a therapist. I take this as a compliment. Complete strangers or brief acquaintances will tell me random, secret stuff. It’s nice to know people feel safe trusting me with their heavy loads; they must sense I can carry them. Often I can. Whether or not I want to is a very new question I’m asking myself. It’s an important question at this particular juncture.

While talking to a dear friend today, I had a revelation that may be a game changer for me. I realized that perhaps I naturally absorb other people’s drama as a direct result of my incredibly dramatic childhood. I come from a large family that can be best described as crazy. They did not put the “fun” in “dysfunction”. Growing up in this environment was emotional guerrilla warfare (if I’ve written that before it’s because I love this description for its accuracy). There was always a scapegoat, a fight that often turned physical, emotional and verbal lashings, fear, control, threats, secrets, and crime. That’s just scratching the surface. Despite this, I truly consider myself to be incredibly and surprisingly normal in all ways.

As a divorced woman, I don’t consider myself as having typical divorced baggage. I don’t let certain things I may be dealing with bleed into other areas of my life. I go to therapy. I go to yoga. I meditate. I have healthy channels to clear me when my emotional system gets clogged. I am overall positive and emotionally healthy. I can reroute myself at this point. Looking back, I really can’t say that I have allowed dramatic circumstances to overtake my life. They may have always been orbiting, insane factors but I've always just kinda did my thing regardless. I’m not a drama queen and never have been. I have never sought out unhappiness or problems. I have perspective and gratitude. However, I realized literally today that intense, crazy drama has always been woven into the fabric of my existence. Hence, I am so understanding of other people’s drama because I LITERALLY UNDERSTAND IT.  I learned this language very early on. Drama became a norm and due to it sheer familiarity, I never noticed. This was a loaded revelation, that was followed by a few minutes of self pity and feeling like a shmuck. Is this why people feel safe with me???? Not because I’m zen, open-minded, and empathetic, but because they can smell decades of drama on me???

There has to be something to this, if as a human I’ve always historically absorbed the complications of others. In learning to undo certain patterns, this is a big deal. Because honestly, I don’t want other people’s baggage anymore. As my friend said, “Jessie, life is hard enough. You don’t need to take on someone else’s difficulties”. Yes, I’m proudly an empathetic person. I love being sensitive and compassionate; these are important qualities, and they do indeed come easily to me. I’m not the chick who pretends to care. I truly do care, and I know you know that. But I can’t let this past language dictate my future. It’s enough. I don’t want to speak it anymore. I’m over it. There is such a thing as being understanding to a fault. Without judgement, I am indeed entitled to evaluate just exactly what it is that I allow into my life. Just because I’ve always opened myself up completely and welcomed external baggage from others, does not mean I should continue along that course. How many times have I written that different patterns invite different choices into our lives? And how completely in control of these choices we are? I think that since I was always normal while growing up in Crazy Town, I felt I had to temper the boiling emotional cauldrons that surrounded me. I’ve always been the ear, the sustainer, the cheerleader, and the comedic foil. This cannot be coincidental. Again, all good things. But they stem from somewhere.

While it’s my natural inclination to help, this can lead me to feel used sometimes. I have an overly analytical mind that starts working off energy perceptions immediately. Figuring people shit out is a puzzle. It’s like cracking a case. And I like helping others solve things. But I also like to be analyzed, seen, and understood. And if I’m doing all the seeing and understanding, then there’s no room left for me to receive. I accept responsibility for all of this. I cannot blame anyone for accepting services I give away for free, like Lucy from Peanuts behind a roadside stand. But let someone take care of me for a change. I can’t say I want that out of life when I perpetuate the same repeating habits of me doing all the heavy lifting. We weigh, we weed, and then we water ourselves. I don’t ever want to be the Pomeranian on some guy’s lap, who gets treated like the adored pet.  When I see couples like this I want to vomit (yes that was judgmental. I’m not perfect). Trust me, I could have had that already if I wanted. What I want is balance, reciprocity, and a constant give and take of both parties being supported, seen, and lifted up. I also have cracks that need to be filled, I also have crap I need to vent. I also need therapy and guidance, not just from a professional. I get it, it’s not so easy and obvious to hold up a very strong person. We seem like we don’t need it. But don’t hold our strength and functionality against us. Hey, I’m honored to advise you. I just might have to start charging...

Joyful Energy Bites with the Mindful Snacker

In an effort to keep moving in the direction of editing and cleaning up all areas of my life, I collaborated with The Mindful Snacker from the Upper West side. The MS, or Daniella, is so sweet and was brimming with excellent ways for how to snack responsibly. Never sacrificing taste or texture, Daniella presented my pantry with an astonishing array of chips, cauliflower pretzels, roasted chickpeas, cake mixes, and crackers made from guilt free, super pristine ingredients. Sometimes you really just need to munch on stuff like this, and when we don’t have the right options in front of us, we will pick at the wrong things. This will always lead to self loathing, and in 2018 that is entirely avoidable. There are so many wonderful products on the market and the overload of information can feel overwhelming.

The Mindful Snacker gave my pantry a complete makeover, streamlining all my family and I need to know about quality, healthy snacks. There are ingenious ways to sneak veggies into snacking. This was just knowledge I was unaware of, but I’m always ready to learn. Daniella was the perfect person to educate me on how to better take care of my body. I don’t have to cut out snacks, I just can choose the right ones. One of the highlights of this lovely visit was Daniella’s homemade energy bites. Rich, nutty, chocolatey bites that I stored in the freezer and noshed as needed. I need chocolate and nuts every day. These super packed, delicious treats satisfied my craving. I’m thrilled to share her recipe with you, as she was generous enough to spread her nutritional love with the Lady Blaga foodies. Daniella has tons of tricks up her sleeve for healthy, happy eating. Bite beautifully! 🥜

Lentil soup

I love getting approached for my recipes after they go up on instastories. Often times I’m just winging it and it’s good video content, and then I go back and make up the actual recipe. This is one of those times. I needed an easy, hearty soup for the Yom Kippur break fast meal. After a fast, though it’s tempting to shove everything not nailed to the floor into your mouth at breakneck speed, it’s the wiser move to ease your digestive system back into action with slow, gentle intake. This is always a better idea, fast or no fast. This soup was a hit with both the adults and kids at the table. If it needs to be thinned out a drop if reheating, just add some vegetable broth. This is totally vegan. 

Ingredients:

Two boxes/8 cups vegetable broth

A cup each chopped onions, carrots, parsnips, and celery

Two cloves of garlic finely chopped or minced

A bag of dried red lentils

A cup of finely chopped parsley

Two tsp of Salt and a tsp of five ground pepper, adding more to taste after cooking

A large whole bay leaf

Directions:

Heat a couple tbsp olive oil in a large pot. Add onions and sauté until golden brown. Add some vegetable broth or even white cooking wine to prevent a dry pot/burned onions. Add garlic and sauté when onions are almost done.

Add chopped carrots, parsnips, and celery (I had fennel so I threw that in too), cover and sweat until fork tender. Maybe five minutes tops. Keep adding broth if needed to unstick the vegetables. Add the bag of lentils, the broth, bay leaf and seasonings. I think a tsp of cumin would be a nice optional addition of flavoring if you like that spice.

Bring to a boil then simmer on medium low, covered, for a half hour until lentils are soft. Add chopped parsley and simmer ten minutes more. Turn off heat and remove cover. I like to release some steam before I purée. When soup is no longer piping hot, purée (optional!) with a handheld soup blender. Remove bay leaf first of course. If you like a chunkier soup, no need to blend. I have to camouflage veggies in my house. Since this is a thicker, heavier soup I served smaller portions in mugs. 🥄. This recipe is interchangeable with green or yellow split peas.

This is for you, Drorit

Listen to In the Midnight Hour

Random

 Hands down my fave look from my summer shoot. If I have to say what I’m most adept at in styling myself, it’s my ability for expertly combining the utterly random. Nothing in my life is obvious or homogenous. While sleeping at the home of a bestie from high school (hi, Danna!), I was telling her hubby a story that compares being married to not. He was like, “you went from A to Z; there are a bunch of letters in between”. His wife wisely observed that nothing in my life is normal. I swear it’s unintentional but my life is definitely comprised of wacky extremes. Everything winds up being large scale. Which is kind of funny when I just want to be left alone and quietly go about my business. What can I say? I have a large energy that naturally attracts and mixes all sorts of crazy shit. That’s why I’m far more in my element dressing like this than say, in a beautiful designer dress. Blah. Give me interesting any day.

This look has elements of menswear, tween, and girl next door. The crop anime tee was a new purchase from Forever 21. This silk boxy blazer is a few years old from Rag and Bone. I wear it to death. It’s unstructured so it feels like a silk pajama top. My J Crew fedora is Diane Keaton meets the Hamptons. I met her once, at the Crosby Hotel in Soho. She was beautiful, nice, and dressed exactly as one would imagine. Total goals. If you don’t love Annie Hall, I’m trying not to judge but...

White denim shorts from Current Elliot. The priciest item here are these white Margiela high heeled clogs. Always the most boss accessory at the party. I would love this tee under my torn denim overalls, the ones that make me feel like Left Eye from TLC. Each piece here has endless uses on their own, and tied together they are an unexpected combination that (I think) ooze creativity and confidence. Which is one of the best things about fashion; we can say nothing because our outfit says exactly who we are. Mix it, Kids. You’re better than a paint by numbers outfit.

Love you regardless.

Sometimes

Sometimes he will let look at me and think, “Of course. There she is.” Other times my existence will shock him. Sometimes I’ll drive him crazy in a good way, sometimes in a not so good way. But always driving him somewhere. Some days he will tell me what he’d like to eat, sometimes he will want to be surprised and trust me to fill him up. But always hungry for my offering. Sometimes he will crave my voice, while other times my silence will be golden. But always speaking each other’s language. Sometimes we will be on the same page, but not necessarily, as we write our story. This story won’t have an ending; it will only have beginnings. 

Sometimes he will prefer me without makeup, and sometimes he will be so proud to be with the glammed up prom queen. Always will he feel like the luckiest guy in the room. Always he will be right. Sometimes I will laugh with him. Other times at him. But always laughter, belly aching, pee leaking, snort inducing laughter. Sometimes we will fall asleep together exhausted from the very nature of the day. Sometimes we will crash, breathless and intertwined, from the very nature of what it means to be two people insanely attracted to each other. But always in joined restfulness. Never will we need Ambien; the peace of being together will sing us to sleep.

Sometimes I’ll be completely still. Sometimes I’ll dance like a maniac. Always will my different rhythms delight him. Sometimes I might be a bit of a snarky bitch. Other times I will be a gooey pile of mush. He will want to taste both flavors, knowing the snark is temporary while the goo is really my center. Sometimes he will go out with his friends, and sometimes I’ll go out with mine. Always will we wait for each other to close out the night so as to begin the next day as a pair. 

Sometimes we will be the sun, and sometimes the moon. Both are necessary to illuminate. Sometimes we might require personal space. Always will we understand that need. Never will we take it personally. Never will we be attached; always will we be connected. Sometimes one or both of us will feel sad, lost, and adrift. Always will we be each other’s anchor, even if we aren’t our strongest. Sometimes that means saying, “my life raft has a large hole, but hop on and I’ll carry you to safety anyway”. Sometimes life will make sense, usually it won’t. But never will that really matter, since we will just be happy to be experiencing whatever this is together. Sometimes I panic I’ll be alone forever. Most of the time I have trust in what I do not know and cannot see. Always is the uncertainty of this human deeply exciting. Often I feel I’m in control, but always am I really not.

Always does the Universe have my back. Sometimes I freak the F out, and always do I have the love and support of the most loving group of people. Always do they lift me up while sometimes I am the camp counselor, leading the pack and organizing the troops. Never will he be possessive. Always will he love my capacity to give and receive love, like a leaky faucet no plumber would dare want to fix. Sometimes we will jump off a cliff into the unknown. Always will we land hand in hand. Sometimes we will be awash with grief over the usual stuff humans grieve over. Always we will want to comfort the other unconditionally. Always will we be invaluable to the other, never will we make the other pay for kindness and affection. Never will we take each other for granted. Always will we appreciate that every step led us down this path towards each other. Never will we regret or question choosing each other. Always will we know all the reasons why we did.

Always will we want to see the world and learn. Never will we get bored of the lessons. Always will we aim to discover new ways to make the other smile. There is no such thing as too many smiles from the one you love. Sometimes will we take each other’s breath away, while always helping the other to breathe easier. Always will we stretch and grow, never will we clench and shrink. Sometimes I manifest, while other times I try to rid myself of any preconceived notions and just wait like a good girl. Always do I know this will be epic. Never will I settle.  Sometimes I wonder if this person has the very same thoughts and questions about me, while never having met me yet... Sometimes will eventually become Always.

Longing for This Skirt

There’s no end to the clean elegance of “the long, pretty skirt”, especially with a cami in the summer. It’s so gratifyingly easy when it’s blazing hot out, to have a beautiful look be comprised of just two perfect pieces. The emerald color of this Maje skirt is so fresh. The skinny pleating and banded waist are truly flattering. I sometimes feel hippy in a pleated skirt, but this waistband allows for just the right tuck, adding no extra girth.  I didn’t have to blouse at all; the top fell beautifully on its own. This is an old silk camisole from J Crew. I have it in a couple of essential neutrals. They are absolute building blocks in any wardrobe. The ease and femininity here are what make this outfit chic yet soft. Girly does not mean fussy!

I always say I’m only comfortable if my outfit appears to have been pulled together in five minutes or less, and that’s the truth. Skirt, top, ✅ This would look great with layered necklaces or one clean statement piece of jewelry, say large earrings, a big ring, or a single pendant. It’s an easy look to transition into cooler temps; just throw on a boxy boyfriend blazer. This skirt, despite the color, still feels conservative and modest. I happen to love Maje’s designs. They are so fresh, clean, and  bright. There’s a strength in the cuts and colors while really championing girlhood. I love each Maje piece I own. This would also look beautiful with a white button down or even a white tee. A skirt this definitive calls for an easy, classic top. Every closet should have that long pretty skirt. Find one in winter fabrics too; you’ll wear them for years.

Listen to House of The Rising Sun

New York Fashion Geek

As I’m simmering, chopping, sautéing, roasting, and baking for the too fast approaching Jewish holidays, the New York fashionistas are busy doing the opposite. They’re dieting, cleansing, modeling, posting, waiting in line, starving, and glamming. I’m in my stained Minnie Mouse apron; no glam squad for me this year. While I do love and appreciate being a part of the glitz and glam that is New York Fashion Week, the scheduling of it this year simply made it impossible for me to attend. This month of September 2018 is the perfect storm of Jewish holidays, back to school for my four kids, and NYFW. Something had to give.

I’m bummed I couldn’t attend; it’s a beautiful, fun, creative, and bold atmosphere. I love selecting outfits that represent my various tastes, combining class and attention grabbing shtick. It’s fun to put stuff on my head that might ordinarily brand me a kook (not that I care, it’s just that during NYFW I’m amongst my peeps). I love networking with others in the industry, kibbutzing with the hardworking street photographers, and feeling the love on the catwalk after a designer has poured their soul into their newest collection. But I’m an actual mother, and an observant Jewish one at that. I wear many hats, not just ones with kitty cat ears (shout out to last year’s most popular NYFW look). Sometimes we must prioritize. There was simply no way, due to religious observance of the High Holidays, I could attend, even had I managed to help my children acclimate to the first week of school. I am not an overbearing helicopter mom by any means. It’s not my parenting philosophy, and I believe it does a massive disservice to the kids. However before all else in my life, I am a mother first, and this is just not the week to leave them to pose for photos at a fashion show. Life is choices, and that’s fine. But the planning of this year’s NYFW events sucks and feels unfair. Many Jewish mothers in the industry, as well as Judes (Jewish dudes) who observe the holidays, are very frustrated. I am not, because though I’m loathe to use this stupid phrase,”it is what it is”. There’s just no reason to make myself crazy over something I can’t control. It is indeed a shame though.

Aside from the fun and fabulousness, I look forward to growing my brand. This is an ideal time to spread the Lady Blaga love in my favorite city. I’m so proud of this brand being immersed in so many different avenues. Though a couple of people advised me to pick one lane at the start of this blogging adventure, my instinct was nah, Dawg. This is my time to share all that I must, and that includes my love of fashion. It’s also important for me to pay homage to all the talented, gracious, inspirational designers with whom I have a relationship with. I’d never want to appear as if I’m blowing off a show I was invited to. Here at Lady B we work very hard to show appreciation and respect to all the brands we work with. I have a strict reverence for deadlines, accepting invitations, and attending as much as I humanly can. Occasionally this causes me to prioritize blogging obligations at the expense of my family. And it’s hard. I’m one woman, and there’s one of me to go around.  At this point in time I’m trying to be so many things right now. It’s not going to always work. I wish I could be in two places at once, like we all do sometimes. But, alas...

What stinks about this is that I had no choice here, for the aforementioned reasons. The decision was unknowingly made for all the mothers and members of the J Tribe in our business. I know it was totally unintentional and not designed to be exclusionary. Of course I know that, but if the premise of this blog is to be a space for openness and honesty, well...

So To Whom It May Concern in the industry, I love you. I appreciate you. I’m inspired by you. But please be more sensitive and considerate next time this shebang is scheduled. I hate to let down my followers by not being able to report to them about the awesomeness that is NYFW. There are a few of us observant Jewish bloggers with largely observant audiences. This is how they connect to you, via our representation. So please afford us the chance to include them in your rad ness. We just want to love you, that’s all. I say this with the utmost in good intention.     

And to my readers, I promise next time your girl goes out there, I’ll deliver double time, lunacy on my head and bod promised. I wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year, whether you’re rolling stuffed cabbage or rolling joints. Stuffing your face, or pissing out all your water with that crazy lemon juice cayenne pepper concoction. Cooking in nasty ass boxer shorts under a Disney apron or wearing your Gucci. It’s all good in the hood. Models, come say hi if you want leftovers.

All the love in the world, The Honey B

Pasta With Herbed Roasted Carrots 🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕

Making pasta dishes is newer for me. I used to chiefly cook for a very picky eater who had a very long list of things he refused to eat, and a short list of things he would. So it was just more logical for me to have to work around that. All that chopping and mixing for it not to be received was kind of a waste of time and effort. Also, I used to really never touch pasta cuz of the whole carb thing. Now I do enjoy it occasionally, since many of my eating habits have changed. Out went meat and chicken, in went more fruit despite my former trainer telling me it’s loaded with sugar. Oh please, it’s natural! Out went anything with dietetic chemicals, in went higher fat content but clean and pure. Admittedly, it’s still a major mind F to eat carbs.

After years of living with the ghost of Dr Atkins sitting on my shoulder, there is a part of me that thinks I will instantly gain five pounds if I eat some bread or pasta. It bothers me that it bothers me. But as I continue to connect to my body through yoga and mindfulness, and as I learn that not only have I not gained weight but actually am leaner now, I’m able to expand the my own list of foods that I enjoy. I ate the same things for years! Such a robotic menu, which is so ridiculous given the beautiful, wide range of things we can put into our bodies. Our options are limitless. Especially for someone who loves to cook and experiment! It was another way I didn’t even realize I was closing myself off. Expansion, expansion, expansion, while maintaining yourself as you welcome new experiences into your life.

I’d never tell you, my dear Readers, that it doesn’t matter what we look like on the outside, and that you should eat whatever whenever. It does matter! Our bodies were gifts given to us for a finite period of time, to serve human purpose. They were given and will be taken away. They are ours temporarily to care for. A fit, healthy body with toned muscles is really important. Ignoring the care of our bodies is the same thing as never brushing your teeth. Everything we have requires care and attention. It all stems from awareness and appreciation. “Thank you for trusting me with this body. It’s an honor to care for it.”

Part of taking care of our bodies is being gentle to it too sometimes, and so eating a pasta with fresh, clean, seasonal ingredients is a good thing! With herbs plucked straight from my garden, this is definitely “farm to table”. Fine, it’s “backyard to table” but you get it. Plus, yoga does wonders for metabolism, so my newer induction of some more carbs into my diet has been dealt with through that. All the twists and turns, different angles, and stretching really gives the organs it’s own workout. It kicks them into high gear. At this point, if it’s clean and portioned, I’m in. My body is better now than it was when I only ate carbs twice a week with just an apple and half a grapefruit as my fruits. BORING. No one is giving a eulogy that includes “bless her, she never ate pasta. She stuck to her egg whites and cried herself to sleep”. Additionally, since I’m eating more delicious carbs and fruit, my craving for sweets has all but disappeared. I was a major dessert person always. It feels good to be letting that go. Sure, the occasional cookie is needed. But I’m really ok with just once in awhile.         

Pasta is so fun to play with. It’s a blank canvas. You can really do so much with it, and it never needs to be complicated. Everyone loves it. It feeds large crowds. It stores well in the fridge. It’s versatile, transportable, and can be a side or a main. Ok, shall we?

Ingredient:

A large bag of carrots, peeled and cut into half inch slices on the bias.

A box of short pasta, white or whole grain. I used white orecchiette and it came out beautifully.

Salt, pepper, zhatar, cumin. A half a cup each of tightly packed fresh sage leaves, parsley, and chives. The sage should be julienned into thin slices, the others can be chopped regularly.

Vinaigrette; half a cup each of lemon juice and olive oil, 2 tbsp of tarragon vinegar, half a tsp salt and a quarter pepper.

Directions:

Set oven to 425. Toss sliced carrots in a pan with some salt and pepper, and two tsp cumin and a tbsp of zhatar. Adjust and add more if desired. I like it quite seasoned and flavorful. I don’t measure, I just palm it. So start with this and add. Roast carrots on top rack until slightly shriveled with browning edges. We want them to be caramelized but not too soft. Fork tender. Prepare pasta al dente. Whisk together the vinaigrette. Combine all when ready, and gently mix in the fresh herbs. I like lots of herbs and greenery, so like the spices, def add more if you feel you need it. Trust yourself. The bright orange and green colors here is what makes this dish really pop. Garnish with three whole, fresh sage leaves in the middle. Always garnish with an odd number, it looks more natural that way. Enjoy this. Truly enjoy this. Be proud of what you just accomplished in the kitchen. Be proud of your choices to nourish yourself and those you cook for. Serve with love.

18 and Life

Don’t go. Don’t not live here anymore. Don’t not need me to make you a grilled cheese. Don’t not walk into the kitchen every afternoon, holding too many books. Don’t not be up late, watching scary movies that make you crawl into bed with me. Don’t not eat guacamole and chips all Saturday afternoon with your friends. Don’t not lie with me on the gray couch, feet to feet, reading and talking. Don’t not take naps in the screened in porch, that is both of our favorite room in the house. Don’t remind me that all those years of babyhood that you yourself cannot recall, are over. Don’t force me into a new chapter, where you really aren’t my baby. Don’t not be sitting in the basement the night before a younger sibling’s birthday, making elaborate and funny posters. Don’t not get chocolate on your face when you eat. Don’t not be here and call out that you’re going for a late night Chickie’s run with your friends. Don’t not order a million little funny things from amazon, often gifts for the rest of us. Don’t not be here to play with the dogs you love so much. Don’t forget all the ballet lessons we went to when we lived in the City. Certain things you were too young to remember, so that is my job; remembering. For example, how I used to park your stroller in the bathroom while I took a shower, so I could sing to you and watch you. The park on 84th we went to every day to watch the boats in the Hudson River. The funny voices I used to read to you in (I began reading Eloise to you when you were six weeks old). All the museum trips to the Museum of “Natural Mystery”. The middle of the night nursing during your infancy, while “we” watched the Wonder Years on mute. Don’t not leave your room a complete mess, and don’t not need me to tell you it must be cleaned up pronto. Don’t not sleep in your bed until 2:30 pm, exactly like I did at your age. Don’t not be there when I go check on you. Who will I kiss in your room? Don’t go, at least not yet. Don’t not miss me. Don’t not want to come home and be back here.

Go. Go enjoy this most exciting new phase in your young adult life. Go travel. Go make new friends who are worthy of getting to know you. Go hear different points of view that will expand your mind. Go dance. Go see how people live in other countries. Go try new foods (more vegetables please). Go feel independent, yet use common sense and caution. Go make mistakes. Go forgive yourself for said mistakes, just commit to learning from them. Go find what moves you in life. Go find people who will bring out the best in you, and keep them. Go explore and wander. Go search. Go question. Go continue making your family so proud of the human you have always been, and who you keep growing into. Go forth with gratitude and mindfulness, pay attention to everything. Go keep what serves you, go release what won’t. Go read. Go be happy but miss us. Go far away so it will remind you of what coming home feels like. Go with excitement in your eyes and curiosity in your spirit, and a sense of safety in your heart. Go smile at people for no reason. Go be a source of good and comfort in the world. Go put into practice what I have taught you, even if you don’t want to admit it:). Go be a kid before college. Go be a young adult post high school. Go use all five senses in all you experience. Go be yourself. Go slowly, there’s no rush. Figuring yourself out takes a lot of time. Go, knowing your family and home await you.

Spinach Linguini with Marinated Tomatoes and Capers

 Yum, right??? The title alone is mouth watering. Which is how food should be; tantalizing out the gate. This is why I prefer cookbooks with photos. I find it very hard to cook towards a goal without a delectable visual. This dish was inspired by Martha Stewart from her “Meatless” cookbook. This is an excellent, beautiful cookbook that I highly recommend. Hundreds of clean, healthy options. The joy for me here was being able to use fresh tomatoes and basil from my garden. Fresh basil is one of most delightful, invigorating scents. It’s a pain in the butt to clean, but so worth it.

The first step in this almost no cook sauce is to heat the garlic in olive oil over a low simmer, resulting in freshly flavored garlic oil. This garlic infused oil will serve you well; it has endless uses. Simply dip bread in it or use it to roast vegetables, and you’ve already elevated your cooking tenfold. You can make extra and store in a pretty drizzle bottle. It also makes a really cool and unusual hostess gift. Here, the garlic oil is used to marinate the tomatoes while the pasta cooks. Tossing the warm pasta with the tomatoes makes for better flavor blending. That’s a rule in general with pasta or grains.   

Ingredients:

 A package of spinach linguini or any long pasta, a flat variety works too.

Five thinly sliced garlic cloves.

Half cup olive oil.

Two pounds heirloom or mixed color cherry tomatoes, cut into wedges or halves.

A cup of torn, fresh basil leaves.

Four tbsp of those tiny capers (I used a whole small jar) rinsed and drained. If you only have the large capers just chop them a bit.

3 tsp grated fresh lemon zest.

A quarter tsp crushed red pepper flakes.

Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper.       

Directions:

Combine garlic and olive oil in a small saucepan and cook on low about ten minutes, until garlic is pale golden. Strain; reserve garlic oil and slivers. Let cool.

Now mix the tomatoes with half a cup of basil, the lemon zest, the capers, the red pepper flakes, and half a tsp salt in a large bowl. Pour garlic slivers and the garlic oil over the tomato mixture. Cover with plastic wrap and marinate room temperature for 30 minutes. Toss gently occasionally.

Cook pasta al dente in salted water. Drain. Add warm pasta to bowl and gently mix. Top with remaining half cup of basil. Season with fresh pepper and add another little sprinkling of lemon zest grated directly over. I like to garnish with three perfect, whole basil leaves in the center of the dish. When serving, make sure you present with a lot of color by gently pushing some of the bright tomatoes to the top of the pile. Color always! This can be made a day ahead if needed, just add the basil right before serving so it doesn’t turn brown overnight. If it’s in the fridge, bring to room temperature before eating. 🥖🥗. Pass the pasta!

Bit O’ Plaid

I’m crazy about this little plaid top. I kinda went on a bender at Urban Outfitters. That was absolute favorite store in high school. The stuff I bought there mid 90’s legit drove my mom to self medicate with cigarettes and TAB. Omg, warm and flat TAB was a staple in our home. I craved it like the crack cocaine it really is. My mother still buys it by the case. I think Amazon delivers it directly from Chernobyl.

I’ve been all about gauzy, linen, and light this summer. This ruffle would never have interested me prior to right now, and I’m so glad it did. How cute and sexy is this top? It’s light as a feather so it’s perfect for these two thousand degree temperatures here in the tri state area. I love this shirt with the light wash denim. They work together in their ease and pastel palette. The top is sparse, so the long skirt balances that. If one wore this with daisy duke cutoffs, they’d look  like they were trying waaaayyyyy too hard to be Miss Chili Cook Off. This would also look cute with high waisted denim bellbottoms. That would be a good transitional look, when it gets a bit cooler.

Off the shoulder is always so feminine and alluring. It’s a body part that everyone can be comfortable showing off. A size 4 is irrelevant, everyone has nice shoulders. If any of you don’t love certain parts right now but want to show some skin, try off the shoulder, either one or both. Dip your toe in the water that way. Believe me, I get it. I wasn’t a skinny teen, and having four kids has put my body through the ringer in a zillion different ways. This level of physical comfort is quite new for me too. But once achieved, it’s really nice to enjoy your body. Make that the body loving goal; it’s really not about size or number on a scale. It’s about how you feel when you look in the mirror naked. No spanx, no control top, no tricks. You and what you see. You and how you feel. It’s your human suit, so please find ways to love it. Life is just easier that way.