Phenomenal Woman, That's Me

It was just International Women's Day. Frankly, I've never heard of that before, but I'm under a rock in many ways. I am a mix of highly aware and totally unaware. It's quite symbolic that I have never heard of it before; this is the first year of my life that I'm fully embracing myself in all ways, especially as a woman. I find my discovery of this day as being consistent with my discovery of my own female powers. All the lady love on social media is wonderful. If we have national days celebrating nonsense like donuts and pizza🙄, we can damn well have a women's day🍩🍕🙋🏼.

Only women who love themselves can freely give love and credit to others. Those that can't are shackled down by insecurity and jealousy. It's a simple equation. I know from my own personal journey of growth, that those times I leaned more towards criticism or judgement were clear indicators of my own lacking. If I wasn't in a secure, happy place then I wasn't entirely happy for others. So much time was wasted like this. I didn't like thinking or sounding like a catty bitch, but it was all I knew. I was constantly surrounded by whining, negative women who have a negative comment for everything, so I just assumed this was how chicks roll. Now I realize it's a mental prison of their own making, and I was paroled. A female penitentiary in the abstract sense. Those inmates be crazy bitches. I have separated myself entirely from anyone who exists on those patterns. It's not in keeping with the vibration I have discovered, and work so hard to maintain. Honestly, tearing others down is a form of laziness. It avoids doing self study to try to figure out why you're acting like that. It's like emotional junk food; a bite of something chemical and poisonous that tastes good, but that will rot your insides. Shitting on others momentarily feeds the ego since it makes us feel superior in that moment, but then we crash and feel bad. So we keep doing it. It's a vicious cycle many women never get out of. It's a life sentence.
   

My newfound and hard earned emotional, mental, and spiritual freedom has gifted me so many things. One of the most important results of this has been this incredible group of women who are my absolute support system. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. It overwhelms me with gratitude. They are my family in the truest sense. I am single but I am never alone. As I navigate so many changes in my life, I feel bolstered by this loving female safety net. These women believe I can do anything. They put the abstract concept of unconditional love into practice. Some I've known for a long time, some short. Some I speak to often, others sporadically. Those details are irrelevant, the feeling I get from our spiritual connections is the same. I usually never name those I reference, but I feel like doing it now. Stephanie, Betsy, and Vicki are my yoga teachers and healers. They more than anyone taught me how to love and embrace myself. Thereby enabling me to embrace life. The women in my sunrise yoga class who I see every morning to gather energy from. We need no words to speak to each other. Tzvia, whose presence in my life is hard to describe. Nyla and Rogue, my DJ inspirations, my messengers of music. Kate, my Scratch friend. Shira, Deena, and Sarrah; holy shit. I haven't found the words yet for them, and I'm pretty wordy. Aimee and Eden give me wisdom for days, and laughs for years. Karen, Sonja, and Federica opened up worlds. Chavi and Nikki are so loving, always with an ear. M the phoenix. Netali for giving me my first job. And my fellow LB , who has been providing me with love, laughs, life coaching, and our own unique brand of lunacy since we are 15. The leash she has me on, which stretches from the West Coast, gives me freedom to grow while seeing the open potholes before I do. This girl could write a fat book on me, that's how well she knows my every single artery and vein.

It is deeply joyful and gratifying to observe how my daughters have built their own female support systems. Each of my girls has had the same BFF since they're 4 and 6, respectively. E has J, who is like my 5th child, and L has E, the kindest kid on earth. My kids must be very good friends themselves to receive such friendship bonds from others. This fills me with pride. Friends are the family we choose, and blood is not always thicker than water. Family is a feeling. Sisterhood is energetic. I wish for my daughters that they always have these carefully chosen, loving, loyal bonds. Women have a biological need to reach out to one another and forge connections as deep as roots. When our arrow lands on the right person it's magical.

All these women allow me to go forth and figure myself out. I am brave but very innocent, vulnerable yet strong. As all women are. We are braver and more vulnerable if we are together. We bring out the best in each other. I can fly since I have clearly identified this group as my landing pad. Emergency landings included, and there will be many. One day we will all be on a mountain top together doing you know what...  The feminine mystique...

Love, LB 2.0

Kale and chickpeas in tomato sauce

I stopped eating meat and chicken three months ago, pretty much overnight. I started to have a hard time eating things that were once in such pain. I know the animals are being killed anyway, and I do believe from a religious standpoint that God intended us to eat them as part of the circle of life. I just didn't want to participate anymore. Fish is on the way out too. I'm just slowly losing interest.  I think meat tastes delicious, but the texture started to feel awkward and unappetizing. I don't miss it, and I feel so good putting mostly plant based foods on my body. I feel cleaner and leaner. I haven't weighed myself in years, but a few people have commented that I look a bit thinner. Who knows, but I'll take it🙋🏼. Watch, I just wrote that so of course I'll wake up bloated AF tomorrow 🐋.

I have incorporated more healthy carbs into my diet, in the mornings so I can work it off the rest of the day. This is a nice change too, since carbs are yummy. As my trainer says, "carbs are not the enemy. It's which ones you eat and when you eat them that matters." My fave breakfast is a cup of Special K protein plus soaked in almond milk, in between yoga and cardio. It makes the cardio a little less dreadful🔫 by giving me extra motivation to burn it off. My daughter requested I make something like this after seeing the concept in a food mag. This is a child who has been known to order potato chips from Amazon, so I was thrilled to receive such a request! She was like, "I might eat this..." This dish took ten minutes and was a big hit. It's a fabulous vegan main or side. Serve over a grain such as Farro to really make it a complete meal.

Ingredients:

•  Two pounds chopped kale.
• A large can of crushed tomatoes.
• A can of chickpeas rinsed and drained.
• A cup and a half vegetable broth.
• Half a tsp each salt and garlic powder, a quarter tsp pepper.   

Directions:

Heat 3 tbsp olive oil in a wide pot or deep pan. Sautée kale, adding broth as needed to deglaze the pan, a couple tbsp at a time.

When kale is softer and bright green, add the crushed tomatoes and rest of broth. Stir well. Add seasonings. Simmer covered on low  for ten minutes. Add chickpeas and simmer another ten minutes. Adjust seasonings to taste. Serve over bowls of Farro, brown rice, or whole whole grain pasta     

Dennis Basso

The Dennis Basso daytime ready to wear collection was awash in high glam. The location of the show set the scene for NYC drama at its best. Held in the famous St. Bartholomew's church on Park Ave, the mood of the show was "ok, major". For you Jews reading this, that church is basically identical to the interior of Kehilat Jeshurun. I was seriously looking for Rabbi Haskel Lookstein. For you non Jews, these are weird synagogue references, filled with words containing an unacceptable amount of syllables😂.

This was the church in Sex in the City in which Carrie and Miranda went to spy on Big and his mom. Iconic nods everywhere! This is New York, Peeps. Ain't nothing like it. It was so refreshing to have a change of location during NYFW. The parking was also waaaayyyy better here👏🏻. Dennis Basso is known for his gowns and furs, so this was a beautifully dressed, good looking crowd.

The base concept for the collection was to suit the changed needs of the well dressed woman who mixes it all up. Women are getting less fancy. We are bringing day into night and vice versa. There are no rules regarding daywear and evening wear anymore. Sparkling gowns one might see on the ladies of Dynasty have become less relevant. DB magically mixed his classic show-stopping glamor with more casual cool fabrics such as leather, tweed, and cashmere. The results were truly genius. Contrasting colors, textures, and fabrics all so representative of the classy, modern boss lady who knows what's up. THIS is dressing in 2018.

I got to see my old friend Jack Cohen of Dennis Basso. Jack designed my DB dress for my eldest's bat mitzvah four years ago. He was greeting everyone at the church doors, and I was so happy to see him. Such a mensch! The modern music was pumping, and was a rad juxtaposition to the church setting. The vaulted ceilings, pews and balconies, and massive organ made for quite a dramatic presentation. The beautiful Hillary Rhoda walked the last dress with DB, and it was very exciting to see this supermodel sashaying down the runway. I wore a Dennis Basso fur over a sheer burgundy dress, that was so generously gifted to me by Leanne Marshall ,via the Riviera PR agency, for Fashion Week. I wore the dress over a black jumpsuit, with a hand beaded gray and burgundy collar that I bought on the beach in cancun. Always mixing it up. This was a really special, beautiful show. I was so grateful to have been in attendance. Can I sign off as Lady Basso?

No Sleep Till Brooklyn

So guess who just discovered the AIRBNB app? 🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼.

I swear I feel as if my whole world has expanded, which it has. This app is so addicting because it's fraught with real, viable possibilities. It's teaching me a lesson I've been dying to learn; how to travel in an affordable, exciting, authentic manner. I hated taking trips and sitting in some boring, sterile lobby. I much prefer getting down and dirty while getting a real feel for where I am. Otherwise, I don't see the point of just physically relocating my body, in order to snap a couple of obligatory photos. It's a shitty feeling to be posting pics of a carefully planned vacation, while feeling that you're not really having fun. It's super depressing. If you've never had a trip that, well, I don't believe you.

My BFF SF and I always say we love people who can admit that their trip sucked. That the kids fought, that it was a tad too much togetherness with the hubby. These are uncomfortable things to admit. After all, trips cost a lot. They are laden with expectation. It's hard when we reasonably attach results to a few days and it's disappointing. We all want to feel we maximized our hard earned vacation days, and be proud we pulled off real quality family time. SF tells me I'm one of the few women who can give an honest, post trip report. It's not statistically possible that every time everyone you know boards a plane, that it's "the best trip ever!" 🙄🙄🙄. It's a tough pill to swallow, when after presenting yourselves with the ingredients for a perfect, frolicking, loving, reconnecting week with the fam, well, that you were all kind of over each other after two days. It feels like a failure. I've been there, and it's very normal. After all, most of "normal" is comprised of less than ideal circumstances.   

First on my new travel agenda: Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Land of Hipsters. I'm actually here right now, typing this in front of "my" brick walled fireplace. My good friend FM is here with me. We came for two nights for a "stay cation". Sure, we live 45 minutes away, but so what? We decided to live somewhere else for 48 hours, and enjoy a part of New York that's famous for its food, energy, vibes, shopping, and man buns. We are eating in cool, delicious restaurants. We walked around for hours, shopped for quirky, vintage finds, each got new ear piercings (a third for her left ear, a fourth for mine), and saw incredible street art at every turn. The weather is pretty warm, a tropical 52 degrees, so the streets are packed with cool, smiling city folk who are happy to be outdoors. I feel like I'm in San Francisco in the late 60's. We hung out in DUMBO last night after dinner, and are going to a party in the Gowanus area tonight with assorted peeps. I bought a hat and bow tie that make me feel like Pharrell. I've made the prerequisite jokes about how I'm in the throes of a mid life crisis, but I'm not. I'm just at the beginning of starting to explore life, and that only stops at death. How wonderful it is to see couples in their 80's traveling, doing, going, laughing, holding hands. Me please! Wanderlust has no age.

The apartment I took looks like a Pottery Barn catalog. The bed was amazing. I stocked the fridge with overpriced, organic essentials. It feels like home, which is exactly what makes leaving your real home so yummy. My hosts have been great. The place looked like the photos. I'm sure there a couple lemons will pop up, but I'll chalk it up to life experiences. I'm excited to save money traveling this way. For the price of one first class seat, I can take several trips like this. Goal for 2018: do more with less. Live more simply. Collect experiences, not things. Trust me, if you need that first class seat or huge suite to feel like your trip was a success, that's a huge red flag. Folks who are having real fun don't think about that. Be those people. Be so busy and happy that you forget to post. Be open to new experiences, you'll never regret trying. Write new stories for your life. Our lives are a book, what's on the pages is in your hands entirely.

Safe, happy travels, the 🐝 in Brooklyn

Listen to All out of Love by Air Supply

Listen to All out of Love by Air Supply

Vivi Zubedi

This was the most moving show I attended, and the post I was most looking forward to writing. I was unfamiliar with the designer, so I was not expecting a collection of Muslim hijabs to float down the runway. Initially I found it ironic that a former orthodox Yeshiva girl wound up in the front row of this show. Then I applied what I was looking at to my world, and I was overcome with emotion. If a stifled Hasidic woman from a super repressive and restrictive environment were to come out with her own clothing line at NYFW, I'd be doing backflips down the runway. It is irrelevant that I can't actually do a backflip.

Women in general have to fight harder for our voices to be heard. Ultra religious women have it waaaayyyyy harder.  Without knowing anything about Vivi Zubedi, I felt so strongly that she must be a very special person, one who is so clear and strong in her vision. She wears a hijab as well, and nowhere does it say women cannot combine their alliance to their religious beliefs with fashion, creativity, and beauty. GOOD. FOR. HER. 👏🏻. Any religious person that would ever criticize something like this as "immodest" is full of shit. That a woman is only godly if she stays out of the line of vision?? Really?? That implies that God created half the population to hide themselves and disappear, going to make babies and dinner quietly in the corner. Only being seen if men so generously choose to glance at them🙄🖕🏼. If life is beautiful, and God is beautiful, then we are not only allowed but obligated to live in a state of beauty.

What Vivi did was bring beauty and religion together. Celebrating women that celebrate God. The message and meaning kept coming in waves, and the designs were so detailed that it was clear this woman poured every ounce of her being into making them. There were a lot of designs, the collection clearly took a tremendous amount of time and intention. With her talent for mixing textures, accessories, patterns, and embellishments, Vivi made the hijab interesting, beautiful, feminine, and fashionable. These are not garments intended to hide the wearer.  Printed sneakers and baseball hats gave the clothes a modern athletic kick. Muslim Athleisure. Hijabs with chains, pearls, funky belts had me considering conversion ✡☪🕉☮. Def prettier than what one would see in Borough Park on a Friday afternoon.

I don't believe in the traditional definition of modesty. I don't see it as external. I define modesty as how you operate from your heart and spirit. Having been overexposed to a religious belief system that defines modesty as external, I have become disillusioned with the focus on the outside of people. It drives me crazy. It is a mistake to teach that as a focus of life, in any religion. What joins us as humans is what we share inside. Underneath any clothing we are made of the same stuff. Same heart, same blood, same breath. However, I am certainly familiar with religious dress. I so admire how ViviZubedi demonstrated that irregardless of religion, women are beautiful and want to feel beautiful. 

Coming from Jakarta, Indonesia, Vivi was originally an accountant. After realizing her dream was in fashion, she became focused on bringing Muslim dress into the fashion arena. This particular collection is special, since its goal is to bring awareness and economic support to the ancient female weavers of South Kalimantan. A region in Borneo, this area is known for the time honored techniques and traditions in how their women weave and craft artisan fabrics. The difficult techniques are what make the fabrics so special and original. The weavers range in age from teens to elders. By using these fabrics in her collection, Vivi, a champion of women worldwide, hopes to show the world the beauty of this ancient craft. How wonderful; to use Fashion Week to spotlight a group of women that most of the world doesn't even know exists. Vivi brought godliness to fashion week not only through her designs, but more so through her humanitarian. She used her voice for sheer good. THAT is why we are here. Injecting the fashion world with true acts of kindness and support for our fellow man makes all the psychotic bitchiness and seat grabbing worth it (I'm talking to a certain blogger here...but she won't read this...if she can even read...).       

As for moi, I went 70's boho chic. Bell bottom jeans, vintage fur coat, purple boots, and a silk scarf tied under my wide brim hat. Cross body bag embroidered with bright flowers, purchased on the beach in Mexico. I felt like I raided Steven Tyler's closet, which is exactly what I was aiming for🎤.

Branching In 🌳

 Certain inquiries about my divorce amaze me. One such question would be why I still consider my ex husband's family to be mine. As in, "why do you call his dad your father in law?" or "why are you attending that first cousin's event ?". These questions make me sad in their narrow mindedness.  I have never seen why all those relationships should cease to a halt because of signatures on a stack of papers. Why draw such harsh lines? I have had to redefine my definition of family many times over the course of my life, and that will continue as I hopefully add to my personal family tree.

What's so liberating is that I am choosing and deciding which branches remain attached to my trunk. Some branches dried up and cracked off pretty darn quickly, and I was ready to shed them. However, there are many others in the form of extended family that I'm keeping. It feels very evolved, open minded, and open hearted, which is how I'm living my life overall. I was recently asked what I'd call my current in-laws, should I one day acquire a new set.  Easy; I'd just have two sets. Who said there can only be one? My heart is certainly big enough to keep including more people of value into it. I'm quite proud that I have maintained connections to so many of the cousins, aunts, uncles, and second cousins. Ten of them stayed in my home last weekend for a family event, and I was thrilled to have them. Love and connection defines family, not black and white guidelines.

Last night I went to the wedding of one of those cousins, and admittedly I was a tad curious how I'd feel. Would it annoy me if I felt people were staring and speculating? Would I feel like the odd man out? Nah, there was none of that. I had a wonderful time, and felt even more valued and welcome, since it's no longer a set given that I'm under obligation to go. Which makes these occasions more special; I'm there because I truly want to be there and participate in the joy. I have always loved these particular hosts and their family, and that hasn't changed. I actually felt a bit like the belle of the ball, since so many of the relatives wanted to catch up with me. It feels good to be wanted and appreciated, to have my presence mean something. I'm grateful to all the family members who have made it clear that they still want me in their lives. It's a testament to a number of things, most of all the connection we've shared over the years. Last names, coupledom, and "rules" are all a stupid technicality I have no use for. It's in keeping with my decision to lead with my heart and do what feels good and true, not what's phony, obligatory bullshit.

As I reflect on my new life, I'm so proud of the family tree that has grown tall from roots I have worked my ass off to plant. I am a planter, and so I will keep on doing that. From seed to branch, from trunk to fruit, I will water my family. It's how it's always been, and it's how it will always continue to be. 🌳🍂🌿🍁. Some things change, but not everything. Change is a choice you do not always have to make.

Love, Lady Branches

Listen to Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine

Listen to Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine

Claudia Li

While it is always a thrill to sit at a fashion show, it is a refreshing change of pace to walk around a fashion presentation. Picture a costume exhibit at the Met, just that the clothes are on models. Without fail, I make goofy attempts to get the models to laugh or smile. I'd even settle for basic eye contact. Usually there's no such luck. I once asked a model straight out if she was hungry. Tzvia may or may not have hit me😂.

What's nice about a walk around presentation is that one can slowly peruse the looks, taking in each detail. It's like shopping without the credit card damage. This Claudia Li collection was truly fantastic. Easily one of my favorites, in that I'd wear every piece. The collection had such meaning, since it was inspired by a Turkish fairytale "The Silent Princess". I love anything inspired by a story! I have not yet looked up this particular tale, but Claudia drew themes of hope and fierce determination from to story and transmitted that to her stunning designs. Creating clothing that brings those messages is a magical endeavor. What a beautiful purpose in life; to infuse those essential qualities into garments to be worn by others. Statement fabrics and bright colors juxtaposed shearling and wool. Oversize shawl collars on jackets and suits. Modern suiting in eye popping cactus green. My favorites were the woodland scenes, head to toe whimsy on sequined prints and knits. I loved the long pleated skirts and button down shirts in hot pink, a daring take on conservative. The entire collection was ready to wear, and it's  nice to actually imagine being able to wear the designs. Viewing collections that look like Sesame Street characters on an acid trip is amusing, but that's not doing our wardrobes any favors.   

What I wore to this event was a navy DKNY pantsuit, white leather booties, a brocade vintage coat that I belted, vintage navy gloves, and my fur hat from century 21. Very vintage Russian spy. I'd make the WORST spy btw, I'm way to open and expressive. I'd get everyone killed in five minutes, though I might be able to charm myself out of a tight spot (been known to happen). Mother Nature must have been a lil bloated and pissed that she couldn't fit into her skirt that day, because it was a monsoon. All these fashionistas getting soaked, running for cover. It was pretty funny. The fashion gods must have been having a giant conniption 😂☔️.

Hong Kong Fashion Trade Council

This most innovative representation from Hong Kong showcased a trifecta of talent. Held at Industria, this show crackled with energy and originality. The first designer was Harrison Wong, winner of the prestigious Hong Kong Young Designer's Contest, as well Japan's Grand Prix Contest. The collection was inspired by artist Mark Rothko, focused on a mid 20th century vibe. I loved the blacks and grays with bold shots of orange and electric blue.  I love menswear, and many pieces were very chicly unisex. The oversized sweatshirts and chopped up puffer coat detailing were some highlights. The super modern and fresh collection was refreshingly wearable. It was a very strong way to start the show, and a nice reminder that fashion is indeed meant to enhance our daily lives. Street wear at its utmost best.                   

 Next came designer and visionary tailor, Annette Chan. Her brand, Anveglosa, features leather in the most feminine way. Tea length leather skirts in black, white, and burgundy trailed in soft, buttery waves. The effect was lovely.  Leather goods can often be so stiff, but here it was as ladylike as possible. Head to toe mono chrome topped with matching berets, the key hat of the season, emitted Parisian class. Grommet detailing and intricate leather cutouts kept the unexpected coming. Chan was inspired by female creativity, which was certainly evident in this sophisticated, elegant collection.       

The third designer was the duo of Heaven Please. This team applies art, music, and literature to their creations. The collection was inspired by the novel "Wrong Number" by Liu Yichang. Employing the notion of artistic pop, Heaven Please mixed retro 50's American with modern Hong Kong style. Bold prints, bright colors, oversize ruffles, and tulle straps packed quite a visual punch. These clothes are for the woman who owns her originality and wears it proudly. She experiments, she is daring. My favorite component were the cleverly incorporated words and logos.       

The show represented the best in Hong Kong fashion, giving the audience a wide spectrum in range of design. Three very different designers sending three different messages. It was a fantastic show that wowed from start to finish. It's very exciting to see the genius that continues to emerge from Hong Kong.

What I wore that day was not so basic black underneath a giant, primary color, color block coat. Vintage 80's, I borrowed it from dear friends. My black Mohawk knit hat was the obvious topper. My bag that day was a backpack shaped like an owl, that I recently bought in tel Aviv at Plazmalab, this crazy cool boutique. The backpack was perfect for "glamping" at NYFW. The true highlight of the day for me was meeting Real Housewives of Atlanta, Phaedra Parks. Phaedra always stood out as a strong, intelligent, centered woman who has emerged from a series of tough spots with grace and clarity. She is a devoted and loving mother, a lawyer, and a businesswomen. She has always had her shit together in the most challenging of times. I made a dash for her, and she didn't blink at seeing this crayola mohawked lunatic charging at her. See? Composure. Housewives unite! She was so warm and inviting, which did not surprise me. Bravo, Phaedra!  Thank you for being the icing on my three tiered fashion cake from Hong Kong 🎂🍰🎂🍰.

Listen to The Scientist by Coldplay

Listen to The Scientist by Coldplay

The Art of a Table

Few things bring me as much joy as artfully setting a table. The Type A domestic diva in me simply can't throw all my carefully prepared food down just anywhere. After I've spent days chopping, shopping, and cooking, serving the food is just as important to me. I love for my guests to have a beautiful experience in my home, so I take great joy in creating those details. It feels really good to be hospitable. Over the years I've learned some easy tricks that will be aesthetically impactful, and I'm so excited to share them with you. First, begin with a certain color palette. My kitchen is black and white, as well as everything in it. Dishes, placemats, furniture. I always use that as my starting point so things don't become a mish mash. An over complicated table is an assault on the senses. I don't need my kitchen or dining room to evoke imagery of being in Times Square. All of my dish-ware and vases are clean, minimalist black and white, so all I needed here was one strong accent color.

I like to use different flowers in only one bold hue. I chose red here as a nod to the holiday season. As well as winter season; pale pink feels weak in the dead of winter. I bought several different types of flowers and berries in the same shade of deep red. Different shades don't look as clean or tied together.  Roses, gerber daisies, and lush branches of holiday berries all set the mood, accented by red leaves. The branches of berries laid around the table gave a beautiful "in the woods" feel. Little berry branches on each place setting was a sweet and consistent detail.

My favorite dishes, serving pieces, and vases are inexpensive from CB2. My Jewish kitchen uses white squares for meat, and white circles for dairy. All white just different shapes. Easy to keep separate. I use the same stuff over and over, but I'll put a different spin on it each time. I love these gray River Rock placemats. They add a touch of sophisticated nature, and lend great texture to the table decor. The rectangular mats and square plates give a clean, geometric vibe. I jazzed up my stemware by using these hand blown glasses I bought in Prague before my wedding. They are the one set of fancy stemware I have, so despite the royal blue, I'll use them anytime. The fresh pop of blue never seems to be a problem.

I love a cleanly folded napkin folded in thirds, placed squarely on the plate, again keeping with the geometry. I love making place cards, it makes people feel so welcome. These little black, iron fruits hold place cards. They're more country kitchen, so they add some softness to the more modern theme. Everything I used here are things I've had for many years. I used to think I had to run out and buy new stuff whenever I entertained. Or order professionally arranged flowers, which were a fortune. How stupid was that?? After all, a beautifully set table is great, but it's really a support to colorful, healthy food eaten by colorful, healthy guests who have come together to share a meal.   

Before the main dishes come out, be sure to have a good assortment of salty and sweet stuff to Nosh on. Little white serving bowls keep your variations in line visually. Bowls of dates, dried peas, cherry tomatoes for the red theme, along with mason jars of my homemade party nuts were enough to nibble on without being filling. I used to plow people with appetizers, trying to show off. So dumb; people would fill up too quickly and ignore my slaved over main dishes. When I put out desert, I again chose a color scheme. This time, I did different candies in white. Red would have been overkill, and I loved the winter white candy. I bought it all from Party City. The gummy bears were a fun addition of color. Cherries and strawberries tastefully and naturally include the red.  I happen to not like candy, I'm a cookie cake chocolate gal, but most folks love it. It's an adorable, easy way to serve an assortment of joy. My white ceramic Chinese takeout containers are the coolest display for candy. They pull everything together on the black and white chevron striped tray. When I first got married and had yet to cultivate any taste, my stuff was a million different colors and patterns. The apartment on Friends/ Shabby Chic vibe was more popular, but it never looked the way I wanted it to. I eventually gave all those things away to newlyweds in need, through my synagogue. Now I stick to the white and black rule, the cheaper the better. Attractive white kitchenware is ubiquitous. It's the easiest way to make your food the star of the show. Now go have fun, and make sure to eat your own food that you've worked so hard to prepare. A beautiful, inviting home is one of the points to life. It represents a beautiful, inviting hostess and person, which you are.

Love, LB

Carrot Soup

Though I love hot soup all year round, there's something special about eating it during the winter. The calm, rhythmic chopping, the sizzle of the sautée, the simmering, and the aroma truly warms both the kitchen, as well as the soul. Soups are such a healthy, clean way to begin (or be) a meal.

I've been going to town with my immersion blender lately. It's my fave kitchen tool. I get that soups can be intimidating to attempt if you're not used to it. However, you can make a wonderful, easy soup with vegetables, stock, and seasonings. It's quite simple, but you'll feel like a culinary rock star. Soups freeze wonderfully, I divide them into pints and take out as needed. My second daughter is loving all these new puréed soups I've been playing with. This carrot soup is delicious and not scary. The color is lovely and seasonal. It's great for babies as well since it is puréed. Not that it ever once occurred to me to make this for my babies when they were younger👶🏻😜. If this makes a lot for you, just divide and freeze.

You'll need:

• Three bags of large carrots, peeled and cut into chunks.
• A medium onion diced.
• A large dried bay leaf
• A packed cup and a half of chopped fresh dill.
• A tsp of grated fresh ginger, grated on the medium hole size on a box grater. The ginger is optional, add more if you like that flavor intensified, but be careful since it's so strong. Ginger also clears your sinuses.
• A teaspoon each of garlic powder and cumin.
• Two tsp salt.
• 3/4 tsp fine ground black pepper.
• A third cup of white cooking wine.
• Two to three boxes of vegetable broth/stock. 

Prepare carrots and set aside. Heat some olive oil in a soup pot and sauté the diced onion until very aromatic and starting to turn golden. Deglaze the pot with the white wine as the pot dries during sautéing. This adds a nice undercurrent of flavor. Layering flavors is so crucial in cooking.

When the onions are ready, add all the other ingredients except the dill. Cover and bring to a boil, then lower the flame to a simmer for about 45 minutes. Add dill after you reached your simmer point. The carrots should be very soft, so simmer more as needed.

When ready, remove from heat and uncover. I like to let this rest and release some steam before I blend, about twenty minutes. Forget that if you're in a rush. Blend the soup with your immersion blender, handling the tool carefully. Add salt and pepper to taste after testing it first. Garnish with a sprinkling of extra chopped dill, and toasted pumpkin seeds as croutons. Honestly, this is the basic formula for a good, simple soup. Onion, vegetables of choice, broth, spices, and blend. Done.

About an hour from start to finish, but you're only working for the first fifteen minutes and the last two. The rest of the time is yours to relax (yeah, right) and enjoy knowing what you're cooking up for your family. I cannot resist wishing you a "soup er" day. Sorry not sorry, I love me a play on words. But you knew that.

Love, Lady Soup er Fly

NYFW Playlist

Listen to That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars

Listen to Foxy Lady by The Jimi Hendrix Experience

Listen to Forever Your Girl by Paula Abdul

Listen to Girls, Girls, Girls by Jay Z

Listen to Glamorous (feat. Ludacris) by Fergie

Listen to Heaven is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle

Listen to I Say a Little Prayer by Aretha Franklin

Listen to Material Girl by Madonna

Listen to The Night Is Still Young by Nicki Minaj

Listen to P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) by Michael Jackson

Listen to Party (feat. Gucci Mane & Usher) by Chris Brown

Listen to Pop by *NSYNC

More Reasons to be a Nomad

Ok, major hot spot alert in NYC‼️  The newly revamped James Nomad hotel. This place is simply way too good to keep to myself.

1)  I'm not like that.

2) It's my civic responsibility as a lifestyle blogger to let you in on life's best shizz.

While doing a recent shoot at this historic, insanely chic hotel, I was lucky to be given a full tour of all this new Sweet Baby James has to offer. If you're looking to stay in NYC from afar, or to take a local staycation, call off the dogs. You have arrived at your destination. The Lady loves history, and the hotel dates back to 1904. It was a scene back then for the OG of mobsters. Damn, do I adore anything mob related (from afar, of course😉). If The Godfather, Goodfells, or Casino is on tv, my day is as good as over. A magnificent corner building in the heart of the Nomad district, which  stands for "north of Madison", the James Nomad gives off various vibes that work together to take care of their guests from all angles of the human experience. Huh?? Allow me to explain.

Upon arrival, you'll immediately be greeted by super warm, friendly NYC bell hops. Yup, I used those adjectives. The lobby decor is streamlined and clean, yet soft and plush. Interesting pops of texture and color are both soothing and exciting. One of my fave details was the bowl of apples and oranges by the back couch section. The lobby is so inviting, it's like you stepped into a living room in Architectural Digest. Only the homeowners aren't snooty assholes, they're the friendliest family on the block, and they want to get to know you. To honor its longtime relationship with the neighborhood, the hotel offers daily complimentary wine and cheese in the lobby at 5 pm. It's 5 o'clock somewhere, and apparently it's here😂🧀🍷. The goal of this is to give locals and guest the chance to mingle, unwind, connect with one another.

The James knows how busy it's guests are. In a time where,ironically, all our tech options can often lead to massive disconnection, the James mood is one of reconnection. Reconnection to ourselves, to others, and to this magnificent city of New York. The hotel promotes the beautiful notion of "sanctuary and scene". Yeah, Dawg, you want hot nightlife? You came to the right place. The scene at the sexy, underground Seville bar is happeninggggggg. Superb cocktails served amongst naughty librarian decor let you know you're night is about to get lit🔥. At least, Karl Lagerfeld and Justin Timberlake thought so last week. 

Of course I was starving when I was there, and I love Italian food. Scarpetta is a terrific Italian restaurant within the hotel, serving as the source of room service as well. Did I just say super solid, delicious room service??? I believe I did. Perhaps my favorite thing about the hotel is the "sanctuary" aspect. After you've had your fill of fun and food, the James offers the utmost in zen relaxation. Each room tv invites you to lose yourself in its custom kundalini program. Yoga mats provided are whispering to you to stop, breathe, hold yourself in your own space, and release tension. Travel is a luxury, but it's tiring. The James Nomad takes its job as your temporary home very seriously. Yes, it's a trendy and sexy atmosphere, but it's simultaneously a mental and emotional safe haven. They don't just want you to STAY here, they want you to BE here.

I experienced the James last week during Fashion Week. The hotel so generously provided me with a suite in which to stay and glam up for a few shows. I am incredibly grateful for their beautiful hospitality. Generosity always pays itself forward... The  giant, white bed was impossible to leave in the morning. I need to find the person making their pillows and hug them ASAP. The stunning modern bathroom boasts a showstopper of a sink. Top of the line bath products in big bottles was my fave room detail. No mini teaspoons of shampoo here. Indeed, while I was working the fashion scene, the James Nomad was the perfect sanctuary throughout all the craziness. This is my life in general now; a balance of being out there in a big way, and going inward and disappearing into my own headspace. I'm busier than I've ever been, yet more zen too. Life nowadays is extreme. The James knows that. They cater to all aspects of our lives; physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. They don't want you to lose yourself while traveling, they want you to find yourself. They are here for whatever you need. I promised you at the beginning of our blogging journey together that I'd always take good care of you. A nurturer always knows another, and I give you over to this special hotel. They've got you, trust the B. Let's go places together. Many, many places. Safe travels.

See you in the Big Apple🍎.

Tadashi Shoji

My favorite look from the show

  Day 1 of NYFW started with a ladylike bang, at the Tadashi Shoji show. Bold colors, strategic cutouts, and ultra feminine silhouettes were the key components. Magenta, deep purple, emerald greens, Royal blue, and some black thrown in for good measure. My favorites were the metallic sequined pieces. Throw me back to anything reminiscent of disco fabulosity. There was a bronze metallic sequined pantsuit that I was salivating over. Tadashi designs clothing that truly celebrates women. We are not the same as men, there's no point in pretending we are. Equal, yes, but women are indeed our own special breed. Owning our femininity is a wonderful gift. When a male designer helps us shine in our natural state, it's a true partnership of the sexes. Fluid, vibrant, dresses draped in all the right places that make a woman's body so special, simultaneously emanating strength. The cleanliness of the monochrome was striking. The designs were easy on the eyes while the details were so prevalent. The overall effect was extreme enhancement and appreciation for the female form.  It was a beautiful show, and an exciting way to kick off the week's events.

That day I wore my favorite NYFW ensemble. My long, deconstructed plaid Commes Des Garcon coat, a voluminous black patent leather skirt from Rosie Assoulin, and  a lace turtleneck with bell sleeves. I felt like British royalty. Given the highly tailored, edgy feel to the outfit, I wanted to balance it out with some romance. I requested a soft milkmaid braid from the stylist, a hairstyle I have never been interested in. Always trust your instincts; this worked so well together. The mood was edgy romance, with some punk given by the red plaid. "I will love you more than anyone you've ever known. But don't piss me off". That was the tag line in my head, and I dug it big time. I was fortunate enough that day to have been noticed by the photographer from Cosmo, leading to a feature in their online street style looks. Such an honor! So much planning goes into creating original looks for Fashion Week, so it was extra exciting to see my efforts somewhere other than the mirror. Or my phone when I took selfies😉.

It is one of the blessings of the blog; being able to participate in a business that celebrates creativity, originality, and the beauty of women. I'm most grateful to have been in attendance at the stunning Tadashi show, and to have been recognized for my own styling. It was a fantastic day, and the perfect way to fire off the proverbial gun of New York Fashion Week.

Smiles are pretty, LB

Photo credit-

Ni Oyeung - @flyingunicorn_ni 

Percy Alban - @percyalban 

Love = Lasagna❤️

So it's not exactly Valentine's Day, but here at Lady Blaga we believe in love every day. Greeting cards, chocolate, teddy bears, and gifts are obviously all nice, but my favorite way to give love is through food.

I began thinking about a V Day food post awhile ago. I enjoy having my mind wander about beautiful things like that. It's one of the healthiest coping mechanisms out there. In a fantastic book I just finished, "Brida" by Paulo Cohelo, he compares thoughts and emotions to wild horses. Beyond true. I have actually begun to visualize myself as a horse tamer, whispering to this row of horses that represent my thoughts. I find this imagery helpful. It's a reminder I am in control of what rents space in my head. Let the horses run free, then gently reign them in and tie them up. I must have needed a positive distraction a couple months ago, which led to coming up with an original idea for a food post that symbolizes love.

Typically, romantic food is centered on dessert. I get it; sweet, indulgent, decadent. Combos of chocolate and berries, vanilla and cream, heart shaped everything. All delicious, all been done a million times. I wanted to be more metaphorical. I thought of what I would want to make for someone to symbolize deep love, the message I would want to send to this special person. It had to be more than just sweet. It had to be deep. It had to have layers. It had to be lasagna.

Love is at once so clean, yet so complex. It is one delicious, magnificent entity comprised of numerous layers, all different yet working together to achieve completion. Love should be comfort food. The very idea of the person you love should feel like home. Their name sounds like what a hug would sound like. They turn the doorknob and your heart leaps a lil bit...         

We layer, we pile on, we add, we assemble parts of what we want our love lives to be. Then we put it all together and trust it will turn out the way we dreamed. Spicy, steamy, soft, hot, with the right amount of Valentines Day cheese🧀. We, as individuals, are so damn layered. As part of a couple those layers double. When we can meld our parts with those of another in harmony, that is love. If I made this lasagna for someone, my message would be this: here are my layers, and I want yours too. This recipe is from my aunt L. It's the best I've ever had. I have enjoyed this dish for decades. I still work off the card she wrote out for me for my bridal shower. It gets better each time I make it. Life is layers, chapters, parts, pieces, whatever you want to call it. Just make it meaningful.

I love you more ❌⭕️❌⭕️,

Lovey Blaga

Ingredients:

• Lasagna Noodles (uncooked)
• Ricotta cheese
• 1 egg
• Spinach chopped box defrosted
• Shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1/2 tsp Oregano
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• Marinara Sauce  

Directions:

Mix ricotta, spinach, egg, 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella, and spices in a bowl. 

Spray a lasagna pan with pam.  Pour a layer of marinara sauce on the bottom of the pan.

Cover with a layer of dry uncooked noodles, and then a layer on top of the ricotta mixture.

Repeat steps until you reach the top of the pan.  Finish with a layer of marinara sauce and cheese on top.

Pour 1/3 cup water into each corner of the pan.  Bake at 350 for one hour until brown.

ENJOY!

Listen to Get Like Me (feat. Nicki Minaj & Pharrell) by Nelly

Mad Hatter

I love hats! This gem is my all time fave. I've had it for 17 years, and I've yet to come across anything like it. It's a rose 🌷colored, spray painted fedora. It involves dragons and a lotus print. At the time of purchase, I had no idea how much the image of the lotus would come to mean to me. The 🐉as well. Strength, growth, individuality, and uniqueness are all somehow represented in this hat.

I like to offset a strong black outfit with this topper. I like that in a basic black outfit you don't see something like this coming. This is not an accessory for a boring woman. I say that proudly. I love a hat tilted a drop forward and cocked jauntily to the side. I've always worn my hats like that. This one seems to do that on its own. It carries my entire look. Clothing is pretty much the support here. This hat deserves, and claims, her spotlight. All I have to do is plop her on my head (lol, think Harry Potter sorting hat).

Truthfully, these aren't my best photos, the lighting wasn't great in that room when we shot, but I don't care. This hat is too special to not have its moment. Buy yourself a standout accessory that is strong and beautiful. If hats aren't for you, make it a wild scarf. Even awesome, visible socks with rolled up jeans can make an outfit. A spray painted purse or backpack. A badass belt buckle. Wacky shoes. Your manicure.  Have fun with your details. Just be proud to own it. There is some part of you that breathes fire🐉, even if you haven't found it yet.
       🐲🌷, Me

Distractions

So I noticed a couple things about my behavior on my recent family trip to Cancun. As I was packing up to leave there, I saw my headphones on a chair. I realized I had not used them once in five days. This is unheard of for me, since music provides me with an instant escape. Headphones on, environment off. Of course, there are many times when I'm alone and music provides a soundtrack to whatever it is that I'm doing. However, if I'm not alone and I feel the aching need to have music take me away, it's undoubtedly a form of me checking out. It is never BECAUSE of my kids, yet I know this is something they've picked up on over the years. They don't like it, since they're smart. They are perceptive, and feel I'm not present. They are right; and there have been countless times over the years where despite my guilt at them being aware of this, I've done it anyway. If there was a tense or uncomfortable presence, or if I just didn't want to have to make annoying conversation with someone,  the headphones were my barrier. If the kids were around, this would in turn create more tension, since they were annoyed and I had gnawing guilt. It's a very human area where moms struggle to find and maintain balance; being individuals with needs while being available to our children. Those two entities don't always co exist. Being a mom often trumps any other factor, but not a hundred percent of the time. Spotting my untouched headphones made me realize I had no need/desire to escape from where I was during our trip. I cannot recall the last time EVER where there was a block of days in which I didn't need a measure of solitude. I was really pleased that I organically reached that point, especially without realizing it. Music just wasn't a factor for me that week.

Another thing I simply didn't need that week was a workout. Again, unheard of. I packed workout clothes as per usual, but didn't look at them. I workout 5/6 days a week. I absolutely require it as part of my routine. It helps me feel good via endorphin release, makes me feel strong and in control, and give me that alone time I crave. I didn't need that in Mexico either. It's not that I wanted to go to the gym and didn't, it's that I didn't have that pull to escape and melt away in a pile of sweat. My kids are late sleepers, so I did some quiet sun salutations on my porch, overlooking the hotel "jungle",and that was apparently enough. Starting my day like that, even for just a few minutes, was apparently all I needed. It was true vacation mode. It always depressed me when we'd take a trip and everything would feel the same, just with a different backdrop. What's the point in going away if there's no shift in joy and relaxation? Just to tell your friends you're taking a trip and to snap a few pictures to post? At this stage in my life I don't want a trip on paper. The headphone and gym revelations made me think about all the ways we distract ourselves from our lives. Mundane things that are kosher, but that are undeniably forms of escapism. Shopping nonstop, constant unnecessary errands, poor quality reality tv, just to name a few. I know people who would have no structure to their day without making purchases and returns. Returns, returns, returns. I swear I think they shop with zero intention of keeping most of it. Target, the supermarket, going to the cleaners, all under the guise of productivity. I once asked a friend why she shops at several grocery stores instead of one, for the sake of convenience. Her answer was that without that, she'd have nothing to do. Her honesty was shocking in its sadness. I too would spend the days trying to fool myself into thinking I was being "productive", while spending each night lost in the Bravo network until the ambien kicked in. Once in awhile I'd write sad, crappy poetry in the notebooks I keep in my nightstand. I read them now and feel both embarrassment and pride.  They suck, and are indicative of my former mental state. One day I'll throw them out, despite being a huge believer in saving anything I write. Even a lousy thought is a glimpse into my mind, and I want my kids to know as much about me as possible, including the not great parts. I'm not yet ready to toss entire notebooks, but I feel so proud and happy that I don't feel that way anymore. I knew the writing was subpar, yet that's what I produced. I'd think, "aren't I a good writer? I guess not." I kept at it since it was a form of therapy. It made me feel less like a zombie than watching Ramona and Luanne tear each other limb from limb (I loooove Ramona. And her daughter, Avery).

It's clearly a direct result of healthy increases in inner peace, that I didn't need to seek outside sources to feel calm and present. I didn't need an escape or endorphins. This was so gratifying. I deserve to feel that way. My children deserve a mom who doesn't look to enter a portal into a dimension of solitude. I was happy when my phone ran out of battery, I had no choice but to ignore it. I love reading because it's such a present activity; you can't miss a word. You have to pay careful attention. Same with writing, cooking, DJing. I have cultivated healthy parts to my life that require my full attention. It's a great feeling to run towards your life and not away from it... I also noticed this: while I loved being away I also was very happy to enter my house when the trip was over. There is no worse feeling than not wanting to be home. It's unsettling and unnatural. Women spend so much time creating our homes, it's terrible to not fully enjoy that. It's good to go away, it's good to come back. You can never have enough inner contentment and spiritual connection to your surroundings. And there's no overweight charge for that😊💼🎒. My goal is to travel, to do more with less, to expose myself and my family to other cultures and places. All the while taking myself with me everywhere I go.

❤️🌍🙏🏻, Lady B