Cocktail Frock

Holler if “Troop Beverly Hills” is one of your fave flicks from childhood? I know, right?? My favorite line is when the mean, battle axe scout leader is yelling at Shelly Long that she desecrated her sacred scout uniform by “turning it into a little cocktail frock”. Her name was Velda.  Her delivery of this line kills me every time.

Well, this vintage cocktail frock is Marc Jacobs, one of my all time OG fave designers. I’ve had this for 12 years I think. It has been with me though different sizes and life periods. It has been in both Orlando and Monte Carlo. It playfully incorporates Chinese symbols in gold, so I wear it with matching yellow gold shoes and accessories. This dress delivers each time. It’s cute, has so much personality, and gets noticed despite its conservative cut. Navy and gold is always a crisp, chic color combo. You’d never know that I changed into this in a Porto Potty on Riverside Drive. Unless I told you. Which I guess I just did 🗣.

A smart cocktail dress that’s not an LBD is a terrific investment. Enough with the black already. And btw, conservative is nice sometimes. Sexy is not always the goal, or even not always the right move. Time and place. Options. Vintage. Let’s keep going with the key words... 

💙💛 Sending you double love, Marc and Moi (I have zero right to pretend I know him).

Listen to Boys To Men on Bended knee

In Search of Talia

I am forever amazed at the power that social media has to connect us;  to ideas, people, opportunities, and knowledge we’d be otherwise unexposed to. I am a bold follower, in the sense that I have no reservations about reaching out to someone I admire. If they don’t respond, that’s their prerogative, but I need to honor my need to try and connect. I’ll only regret it if I stuff that need down below and squelch it. When we fight healthy urges to connect and share, we send a message to ourselves that our feelings/thoughts don’t matter enough to be aired. This causes a domino effect of other bad feelings. Sure, I’ve been unanswered (it’s all good, Steven Tyler). I was once in contact with this yogi who lives in Bali. She was running a retreat on an elephant sanctuary that sounded wonderful. Once I realized I couldn’t make those dates, and that I might be scared shitless to ride an 🐘, I never heard from her again. I had at that point spilled my guts (of course), so it was an important disappointing moment. One I needed to learn. Needless to say, I then unfollowed her since her behavior didn’t feel very yogic to me anymore. It’s cool; lesson learned. It’s so funny how hitting the “unfollow” button feels like a 👆🏽. When it really is a kind of “no thank you”. It cracks me up when we hear of it in the sense of, “ I REALLY showed her. I unfollowed her”. It’s all part of the ridiculousness that social media breeds, but humorous nonetheless. None of it matters.

What matters are indeed those beautiful connections we make. It’s how I met Shiffy, the Mumbai blogger, how I met a whole bunch of DJ mentors and friends, old friends to reconnect with, artists, poets, inspirational guides, spiritual guides, authors, and yogis. The people I have been drawn to, and have drawn back to me, have been massively influential in my life. One such human is @talia_sutra, an Israeli yogi from Tel Aviv. As a writer, I pay close attention to the content of the posts. The words, messages, and feelings. There are tons of yogis who can post impressive shots of handstands on a cliff, but they’re not interesting to me if there is no wise, pure message underneath that picture. I don’t need proof you can contort yourself physically; I need the metaphor and spiritual guidance attached to the asana. I need what the heart is telling me through each movement. When I say “need” I mean it. There are accounts I follow that seriously get me through some of the biggest battles in my mind. If I go to sleep uneasy, I’ll wake up uneasy. It’s not healthy to start the first second of your day off with a screen, but if I’m feeling unsteady I’ll reach for my phone, take a quick glance at Mark Groves @createthove, @talia_sutra, @sahdguru, @mooji.official, and let their soothing words calm me down and lift me up.

Back to Talia. She is so pretty, and is a master yogi. She has a lovely husband, an adorable baby, and an incredibly interesting travel schedule that takes her all over the world to teach. She could easily maintain an IG account on the coattails of those facts. Pictures, stories etc She’s a spokesmodel for Alo, films tons of classes for Cody app, and has hundreds of thousands of followers. If she wrote nothing but nonsense like “Happy Monday!”, her account would totally remain afloat. But this is not who she is, and that’s why I love her. Talia is clearly a worker who has dedicated her life to being a spiritual teacher in the purest sense. There is an incredible depth to her words. Her messages and captions speak to the core and essence of the human condition. She gets us, and we need her. Talia doesn’t pretend to be above sinking just like the rest of us. She’s honest about her own struggles. There are so many super popular yoga-lebrities who just spit  overly positive platitudes while modeling their new comped leggings. Don’t tell me to always be positive; I can’t. Life is harder than that. Don’t tell me to breathe; I know that already and it’s not that simple. Speak to the epicenter of my pain and teach me to rise the hell out of it. Remind me I am loved and bolstered by the unseen, and that truly calling upon my ability to love will lead me to my destination. Calm my fears with assurance, not a cheer. I’m smart, I want the real stuff. If you’re a messenger then please send me the message. I’m waiting and willing to receive it.

Talia’s tag line is “love and all is coming”. After discovering her and reading this, because it felt so real and true, I probably tell myself this two dozen times a day. But my favorite was a picture of her in a deep backbend next to red rocks, I think in Petra, and she wrote, “Surrender, like rock to the sand”. I read that in a time in my life where I had to release control and trust the unknown. That is frightening for us humans, to not know the outcome. We don’t like not knowing where we’re going. I’m so in touch with nature, and am truly moved by all the elements, so the visual of rock melding into sand, and vice versa, instantly calmed me. It’s a partnership of the earth. There is not an hour that goes by that I don’t self soothe with that phrase.

This past Passover was a very hard time for me. I felt lonely, shaky, and adrift. I had found a yoga studio in Miami that became my home every day, Green Monkey. I’d sit and read at this coffee shop nearby after class, and do the IG thing. I had this urge to reach out to Talia so I emailed her. I was honest about the tough time I was having, gave her a brief background of my Megillah, and told her I’d love to DJ her classes, and that I’m coming to Tel Aviv in the summer. I seriously cried when I got her response email; connection just feels so good. It’s knowing someone got your message in a bottle and internalized your SOS. So recently, on my beautiful trip to the Holy Land, Talia and I were again in touch. She was so gracious in wanting to meet me. On a Friday while I was buying vegan, homemade soaps at the Nachalat Binyamin crafts market, Talia was two blocks away. I shlepped my friend James, and we met her in a park nearby. I was beyond excited. It’s like meeting a singer whose lyrics mean so much to you. As I saw this little, glowing fairy 🧚‍♀️ walking towards me, I burst into tears (jeez, can I stop crying already??). Just seeing her in person was so impactful. This woman had lifted me up so much since I came upon her. I don’t take that lightly. The gratitude I have for anyone who is there for me in any pure sense is overwhelming. It’s proof that as spirits having a human experience, all we need is to connect at our core (“makor” in Hebrew). Connect to ourselves, to each other. The tools are built into the very architectural design of our making. The ability to forge these connections lives within every single one of is. I’m not special because I reached out; I just did it. The word “sutra” is Sanskrit for suture, or stitch. We are all stitched and sewn together, creating this never ending tapestry of humanity. Which is why feeling connections to complete strangers, whether it’s via IG or simply at a bus stop, feels good. It’s because we are in alignment when we connect. It’s why strangers find it easier to spill their guts to each other, more so than to someone they know. It’s not because you don’t know them, it’s because you DO.

Underneath the body jacket we are all the same. We all love our children, we all need to eat, we all need physical affection, we all feel scared sometimes. The list obviously goes on because it’s true. Sometimes, all we need to lean into our god given ability to connect is an email address or an IG handle. I feel so close to Talia. Meeting her was life affirming. We can see people every day who don’t enhance our lives, or we can meet someone once (or never) who stays with you forever. Talia, thank you for teaching me to surrender like rock to the sand, and for filling me with so much light. I listened to you; I loved and indeed it all came, in that park in Tel Aviv.

Todah. Namaste🙏🏻❤️☀️🧚‍♀️

Spinach Mushroom Cous Cous

I love throwing this side together. In general it’s so fun to nicely combine grains and vegetables. This legit arose from whatever I had in my pantry one Friday afternoon. My daughter’s close friend E is vegetarian, and I love inventing new options for her when she comes for weekends. It’s always good to be challenged in the kitchen. No bored eaters on my watch. I love sesame oil, it’s so rich in flavor. I generally don’t gravitate towards Asian flavors; I find them too salty for my taste. So sesame oil is a nice way to more subtly incorporate that ilk of flavoring to my cooking. I only use the toasted sesame variety, the regular is bland. I don’t use much since it’s so strong.

I’ve been using Cous Cous a lot this year. It cooks in five seconds, and any item that instructs me to “fluff” anything already has a head start 🙌🏻. Make the grains, sautée the vegetables, add some dressing/sauce that you just whipped up and BAM‼️. Easy, lovely, and complete.

Mirin has been used in my kitchen for years. It’s an Asian rice wine. I use it to deglaze the sauté pan when I’m going for a teriyaki vibe🍱. It always cracks me up how it’s one tiny letter away from the word “moron”🤣. Howard Stern plays a classic clip of his father impatiently snapping at him as a child that us die hards love; “I told you not to be stupid, you moron!”  There will never not be a time where this is funny to me. My, how parenting has changed! This is your girl, unable to give a Cous Cous recipe without a Howard reference 😎.

I actually made this just last weekend. Huge hit, and even better the next day whilst picking at leftovers. If preparing in advance overnight, just refrigerate the veggies separately so they don’t darken in color. Make sauce fresh, it’s two seconds.     

Ingredients:

 One cup of that tiny grainy Cous Cous prepared to package directions.

4 bags baby spinach leaves.

4 containers sliced shiitake mushrooms.

Three tbsp sesame oil.

Three tbsp teriyaki sauce.

Three tbsp rice wine vinegar.

Mirin needed to deglaze sauté Pan.

One tbsp at a time, half a tsp salt and a quarter tsp to season while sautéing veggies.

Two tbsp of toasted sesame seeds to add before serving.   

Directions:

Make Cous Cous and set aside in a large bowl. Heat up two tbsp of olive oil in a large pan and add mushrooms. Sauté adding dashes of toasted sesame oil. Deglaze with mirin as pan dries up. Do that continuously.

When shrooms are two thirds cooked, add spinach. Both these vegetables give off water, so you’ll find that the pan won’t get bone dry.  As the spinach wilts to more than half its size, season with salt and pepper.

Mix the rice wine vinegar, teriyaki sauce, and another three tbsp of sesame oil into a sauce. Pour some on the Cous Cous so it has the chance to absorb the flavors in peace. Then add the cooked vegetables and add remainder of sauce. Make more if needed but remember these flavors are strong so you won’t need so much. Let all blend together at least a half hour. Add toasted sesame seeds on top right before serving.     

Watch the Karate Kid, but only the original.  Deduct points if you thought the original was with Jaden Smith. Write Ralph Macchio the fan letter you wanted to when you were in middle school. Cry about the fact he had no dad in the movie and was then bullied at his new school.  Practice a Cheer routine to “Cruel Summer” by Bananarama. Contemplate dressing as a shower for Purim. And for Christ’s sake, ALWAYS sweep the leg, Jonny. Uch, whatever. Just make this, it’s really good.

Damn, That's Some Hot Pretzel

Sometimes you buy clothing thinking, "I have no idea when the hell am I ever going to wear this, but I like it so whatever”.  That’s how I felt about this two piece, white and gray Norma Kamali ensemble. Truth is, if I’m ever invited to a black tie gang initiation I could make this work. Until that day hopefully arrives, I’ll put it on to eat a pretzel overlooking the water on Riverside Blvd. As always, Norma’s fabrics are the utmost in comfort. They don’t wrinkle, and they breathe with you. I’d actually wear this to go dancing, with hightops. I’m loathe to ever dress revealing effort, but this outfit is actually effortless. It’s an open back, so the white sports bra was all that was needed. This amazing industrial statement necklace is from that store in Israel I’ve mentioned, Plazmalab. FYI, it’s in Tel Aviv on King George street. Go. I always say how I love “things that look like other things”, so a necklace made of recycled machinery parts is rad. I’d love to wear that necklace with a strapless black or white dress to a fancy event, bringing an unexpected mood to the whole enterprise of “fancy events”. Statement necklace indeed.

I was starving at this point in the shoot, so what better snack to shove in my mouth than a classic NYC hot pretzel. I had to forgo the mustard; there was NOT A CHANCE it wouldn’t have dripped down. This outfit is straight up urban chic, a refreshing change from all that leggings athleisure insanity. It’s just too much; that genre has usurped complete control over how women dress on a daily basis. To athleisure I say this, “don’t be so greedy. Let us wear other cool, comfortable things as we do our errands and pretend to workout”. Actually, I’m going dancing with the squad this Monday night at Fat Buddha on the LES. The DJs are my teachers and friends. Think I’m gonna wear this! Midnight salty carbs yeahhhhhhh👍🏼.

Stay both cool and hot at once, L🐝

Listen to Cry a Little -Bingo Players

Feeling Like Nothing To Feel Like Everything

Things I don’t feel like at this very moment:

A single woman.

A fixer. 

A cook.

An ex wife.

A DJ.

A fashionista. 

A joker.

A strategist. 

A planner.

An effort putter.

An Uber orderer.

A homework checker. 

A caption writer.

A music set builder.

A job connector.

A house manager.

A nurse.

A snack carrier.

A dieter.

An early riser.

A blogger.

A scene writer.

An email responder.

A text editor.

A phone call ignorer.

A caretaker.

A camp counselor.

An organizer.

An anticipator.

An assumer.                         

Things I do feel like:

A mermaid.

A beach bum.

A wanderer.

A feeler.

A friend.

A roommate.

A laundry hanger.

An eater.

A smiler.

An element of nature.

An appreciator.

A radiant source of light.

A glower.         

Must this all be determined by geography...?

-Written on the beach in Israel 

The Oldest One Was Madeline

 I had This uncharacteristic preppy, Jackie O phase a few years ago. I was knee deep in J Crew catalogs and clean bursts of color. It’s so interesting to observe how our style evolves. The shape our external takes as the internal struggles to find its footing. In 2018 I can safely say I have no interest in being on a boat in Hyannis Port, but this look very much appealed to me for a couple years. I think color blocking was very much a thing and I dug it. It felt fresh and effortless. It’s not me overall though, and I kick myself thinking how much stuff I bought and then gave away.

I had a tendency to buy one in every color if I liked something, so I had a Rainbow’s worth of options in pencil skirts abs v neck tees. While much of that phase’s clothing was ultimately donated (at least there’s that), this dress remains a lovely contributor to my wardrobe. It’s a red, white, and navy print. It’s a great, easy summer dress that works with anything from white sneakers to a neutral wedge to a nude heel. It’s indeed effortless and looks so. All I needed here were white summer slides and this straw fedora, another J Crew fave. I find that my best hats come from there. We took this shot near the Riverside water edge on the upper west side of Manhattan . It was a lovely scene down there; peeps lunching, strolling, kids and teens chasing each other, and a nice tree to sit under. This type of scenario is always most welcome in the midst of a concrete jungle, specifically a hot one!

The hat reminds me of a line in the Madeline books, an absolute fave of mine since I’m little. Hence the title of this post.  Now as Miss Clavel runs faster and faster, to the scene of the disaster, I’m going to relax knowing she will take care of everything. It’s all good; there’s someone in charge making sure we are in two straight lines, even as we cause a bit of trouble and disrupt our balance.

Wishing you a lovely summer day, LB

Listen to Getting Better by the Beatles

Greens N’ Grains 🥗

How to kind of incorporate croutons without using bread? 🙋🏼‍♀️cook some healthy grains and give them a quick sauté to crisp them up. This can def be a vegan main course, or a hearty salad alongside any protein.  It’s two sides in one, combining vegetables and a starch.  And it’s filling, so you really don’t need anything else on the side if it’s just a couple of you (I like more options if there’s more people).

Flash frying the wheat berries here after the regular cooking process was fun; it felt like a cute little culinary secret.  I swapped white truffle oil for my usual olive oil for the vinaigrette for added depth of flavor, and because I had this lovely bottle of truffle oil from a trip to Italy that I’ve been waiting to use.  Truffle oil is expensive though, so no need to go that route.  Standard high quality olive oil always works.  I also used fresh green spring peas, which I’ve been wanting to use as the one featured veggie.  Using less ingredients feels so clean and  uncomplicated, how summer should feel.  I happened upon these dried chickpeas in the market, and knew they’d add the perfect dose of salted crunch.  It’s gratifying to make a complete meal out of just several key things. Quality over quantity always.     

Ingredients:

1 cup of wheat berries or Farro prepared according to package directions

Half a pound of fresh spring peas

Mixed leafy Baby romaine lettuce

A large handful of dried, salted chickpeas.

Dressing:

Quarter cup of fresh lemon juice

Quarter cup of white truffle oil

At least three tbsp balsamic vinegar adding more to taste if needed/desired

Half a tsp salt and a quarter tsp pepper

After cooking and cooling the grains, sauté them in a large pan with olive oil until they begin to crisp but not harden.  Add half the dressing to the warm grains so they can absorb the flavor.  Let sit 20 minutes.  Toss with peas, romaine, and rest of dressing.  Add dried chickpeas right before serving.  The grains can be made the day before and brought to room temperature before combining.  If using truffle oil, note that it’s a strong flavor.  The lemon juice and balsamic will temper it.  Enjoy!!

Keep It Moving ; Part 1

I have a new friend 👏🏻. His name is Eitan Barokas, and he’s an artist. I was introduced to him through a mutual friend (thanks, BR), and it was one of those meetings when the energy instantly clicks. Eitan is in his early 20’s, and I love experiencing when true connection defies age. Numbers become irrelevant, and since so much of our lives demands the involvement of numbers (money, time, measurements, airplane flight info etc), it’s refreshing when anything calcuolatory goes out the window. It certainly is for this numbers impaired gal. 

I wanted to meet Eitan for a few reasons.  One, I’m out the gate supportive of Jewish artists of any kind, especially a young one who isn’t blindly going down the mind numbing path of, “my uncle is calling in a favor to the accounting firm to get me a job”.  There is risk in art as a source of livelihood; it’s potentially inconsistent.  So when a person is aware of their calling at a young age, and pursues that to honor their spirit and life’s purpose, it’s such an inspiring example to the rest of us.  This is a much smarter move than squelching your passion, only to wake up decades later and freak the F out that you are wasting your heart/life.  Statistically, it’s not possible that a chunk of “middle aged” people I know don’t wrestle with hidden dreams.  Life is so deeply painful that way. It’s such a gift to know your truth early on.

Secondly, the philosophy behind Eitan’s work is “Keep It Moving”, which is what I propel myself towards every day. Sometimes the flow of life is easy to lean into, other times it feels brutal.  Like you just can’t.  It’s amazing how we can be so knocked down emotionally and mentally, to the point where even standing hurts.  We collapse under the weight of so many things.  It’s a battle to dig ourselves out.  But there’s really no choice; the alternative to motion is stagnation.  Stillness, as in yogic stillness, is different.  When one is “still” they are floating towards enlightenment, despite appearing statue like.  To be stagnant is to be trapped and not get out.  Eitan’s underlying premise to his work is so positive; keep going.  Don’t ever give up.  There’s no encouraging of denial here, not pretending life is a picnic. B ut there’s so much good to be seen and felt.  Notice it, cling to it, and don’t stop.  It’s like in Finding Nemo when in order to rescue himself, Nemo chanted “just keep swimming” (or was it Dory🐠?).

Our minds are so powerful. Even when the body wants nothing more than to collapse, the mind can direct us to keep it moving.  Eitan is a super lovely, positive soul.  The bright, happy colors he uses in his work clearly reflects a guy who means what he paints.  Eitan does a lot of abstract pieces, but my favorites are his people.  Often wearing a shirt and tie, facial expression open to interpretation, I feel these peeps represent ennui in the stale rat race routine of life.  Yet the vibrancy of the colors prove that we are surrounded by beauty at any given moment.  These characters want more, and it is within their stream of consciousness.  The magic of life is within their reach.  Isn’t this what great artists do; inspire and encourage us?  I happen to not react to a lot of art, which I’ve said before.  But I strongly reacted to Eitan’s work as a result of his unshakable philosophy.  Insta bond.

When I first met him at a gallery showing in downtown New York, it was like “oh, there’s my friend”.  Clear, connective energy will always unite Creatives.  It’s a Tribe with our own language, and I’m so grateful to be a part of it.  Life feels richer.  Yes, our increased sensitivity can knock the shit out of us.  The breadth of feelings can be hard to take.  But we keep it moving, because truthfully, there’s no other choice. Movement is something we owe ourselves, but we need the permission to give it.  We do not learn to honor ourselves that way.  Any form of self care is seen as selfish.  Through his art, the artist not only conveys it is your right, but your responsibility as a human.  Because when we move we learn, and we reach new heights of living and understanding, which can in turn give back to our fellow man.  We are all a collective. Let’s move together.

I truly suggest looking up Eitan on Instagram @eitan.don  These bursts of social media inspiration often get us through the day. They connect us to a whole other human who has insight we need. Eitan loves to inspire; take him up on it. Part 2 of this post soon to come, detailing a Blaga field trip to the art studio. Being in the epicenter of someone’s creativity is such a treat. I get to breathe in pure emotion, then exhale it to y’all. Or as Eitan himself says, “ the Squad”. 

Summer Berry Cake

This is my jazzed up, seasonal version of Kosher chef Susie Fishbein’s classic yellow cake recipe. Fresh berries bursting with flavor are a delightful addition to any summer dessert. Now is the time to capitalize on the bounty of the season. This was an easy way to do that.

I just added 2 and a quarter cups of mixed fresh blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries to the batter after it was poured in the pan.

I mixed the berries with a tbsp of flour before adding them; I think I once read that this prevents the berries from sinking (it worked so what the heck).  My last addition was a nice sprinkling of cinnamon and sugar on top of the cake before baking. If pre plating this, sprinkle with powdered sugar and garnish the plate with extra fresh berries. This is a beautiful brunch or lunch cake. It tasted like a giant berry muffin😋.

Ingredients:

3 cups flour

2 cups sugar

1 TBS baking powder

1/2 tsp coarse salt

1 cup vegetable oil

1 cup orange juice

1 tsp vanilla extract

4 eggs

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 and grease a 13x9 pan.

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a bowl.  Add oil, orange juice, eggs, and vanilla and beat at medium speed.

Pour batter into pan and add 2 and a quarter cups of mixed fresh blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries.  Bake for 50 minutes.  If edges of cake start to brown but the middle isn’t yet done, cover the browning edges with foil and bake until middle is set. I had to do this and it worked.

Random pieces thrown together 🖤🖤🖤

Random pieces thrown together🖤🖤🖤. I am nuts for this Norma Kamali quilted ballgown skirt! The fabric is light so it’s less overwhelming. This piece is surprisingly versatile. It can look like a black tie dress with a black bodysuit, or be street chic with a fitted t shirt and sneakers. I’ve got my original doc martens on here🤘🏻. I will always choose flats when possible.

The Norma sleeveless top in a black and white leopard pattern makes this look like more of an actual outfit. It was colder when I took this shot, so the long black trench coat was a good dramatic topper. That was Norma too. Pieces from the same line will often work together. I put the hat on as a joke, to highlight how laughter can brighten up absolutely everything. All black everything, until you flash those pearly whites 😁. This hat was given out at my daughter’s bat mitzvah three years ago. She’s always laughing 🤣. This outfit has drama, just like life. But I chose to soften it up. Yes, that’s a metaphor... 

Camp Grounds 🏕

Can I talk about summer camp for a minute?  I sent my son off to sleep away camp for seven weeks. He went with all his friends, and he was bouncing off the walls with excitement. This is how the majority of orthodox Jewish kids in the Tristate area spend their summers, to the point where it’s deemed “weird” if a kid doesn’t go. Statistically it’s not possible that every single child wants to go and likes it. But there is a definite unfair social stigma that’s assumed if a kid doesn’t like it/can’t hack it. It’s bizarre; every parent seems to know where children in other families are going, as in to which of the several camps is so and so sending their kids to. Why they may have left a previous camp. Why they didn’t have a great time, were they bullied, did they get caught doing something forbidden. The amount of information that doesn’t pertain to our own lives in the least, and is casually and arrogantly tosses around in “adult” conversations, is staggering. Who cares what anyone else chooses to do during their summer? It’s this constant need to be a social authority on all goings on in the neighborhood. Such is life in any suburban fishbowl. It’s not unique to where I live, it’s just what I see in front of me. What’s truly material for social satirization in these conversations, is the inevitable need parents have to justify why they chose one camp over another. IT. ALWAYS. HAPPENS. Predictable and stereotypical social scenarios amuse me to no end. It provides me with a steady stream of content for all the SNL skits I’m constantly crafting in my head. I’ve had decades long fantasies about sitting in that famous writers room, cranking out wacky ideas and making people laugh. So I really welcome actual humans who behave as caricatures.

Basically, if I know you, and you sound like a jerk listing the pros and cons of your kid’s chosen school/camp/after school basketball program/sneakers, then I’m already casting you as I nod apathetically and plan my escape (FYI a scratched up Toyota Sienna makes a nifty getaway car). Listen, I’ve been plenty guilty of the above in my past identity, which is why I’m hyper sensitive to the undertones of such discussions. I’ve been on both sides of the bullshit neighborhood wall. I get it. I get where it comes from. Only now I know better. And as Oprah says, “when you know better you do better”(I’m pretty sure it was Oprah but if it’s not we can credit her anyway).     

The real reason for this post is not the above. It came from the nagging guilt I have about shipping my kids off for the whole summer. I, like all parents, look forward to a much needed break from planning, scheduling, driving, making 4 different dinners, and homework. Btw, any parent that claims to not look forward to some freedom is lying. I do know a few moms who pathologically seem to be lost without the presence of their children. Who have no idea how to get through a day that’s not maniacally shaped by errands and routine. It’s very scary to feel adrift, so I truly have sympathy. I too spent many summers where I felt it was as boring and not special as the rest of the year, the only difference being I was in a tank top. There’s so much pressure to “have a great summer” and it’s a let down when it doesn’t turn out that way. Which is why most women I know freak out when it’s over and school begins. It feels like a wasted opportunity. It feels like you didn’t capitalize on a precious few weeks of freedom. Panic sets in. Again, been there. Last year when school started, it was the first year I didn’t feel that dread; because I don’t place all hope on one season anymore. I now know that all year is great. I can and will fully take advantage of my life 365 days a year.     

But back to the guilt. There is definitely something unnatural about the way our kids live their lives, being apart from us almost all year. It feels antithetical to the point of having children. They’re so scheduled, regimented, and not with us. Not that I want to home school them or not have time to cultivate my own existence, but it eats at my core that as soon as they return home from something we are packing them up and sending them off again. There has to be more room for relaxed, soft bonding and family time. Old school, quality family time. Without technology, without friends, without distractions. Focused, sweet togetherness. I know this is highly cultural. Folks that aren’t familiar with the sleep away camp system think it’s insane. I went to camp my whole life, and loved it. I was a camper for six years then a counselor at the beloved, defunct Camp Hillel. Omg the Dirty Dancing lake scene was filmed there!!!!!!   

Camp is a fantastic social exercise. We need to teach ourselves at a very young age how to navigate a smorgasbord of social situations. How to camouflage that I peed in my bed (true story), do I suck my thumb in front of my bunk mates at the age of 13 (yes), do I shower if there’s no hot water (maybe), do I let the smelly girl borrow my clothes so as not to be rude (not if I can come up with a viable excuse). Bunkmates live together, have crushes together, menstruate together, bicker, cry, emote, feel shame/confusion/joy together, have to comfort one another, and on the best days, mudslide and laugh our asses off together. WITH NO PARENTS!!!! So maybe just as parents need our freedom, so do they.

I am a huge believer of imparting the message to my kids that I trust them to know how to handle themselves. I believe in them. I trust they will make friends, function in a group, be flexible in said group, and work their way in and out of social pitfalls. I trust they’ll respect authority. I trust they’ll participate and use manners. I trust they’ll be an asset to the dynamic. I never had a kid who cried getting on the camp bus. I’ve always been proud of how well adjusted they’ve been socially. That behavior comes from a foundation of security, and it is gratifying for me to see them handle themselves well. But I wonder, does any part of them think I don’t want to be with them over the summer? This has to be insulting. Summer memories are special; shouldn’t we create some together? And not just on visiting day🙄. I once heard a parent say that she’d rather an extra Yom Kippur than have Visiting Day😂. Love the honesty, Sister!

So I’m doing something this summer I’ve always wanted to do but never have; I’m taking them away for a week to California after everyone comes back from their various programs. Finally, the quality time I’ve always longed for. So many men say they can’t take off of work to travel with their families over the summer. I hate that. When there’s a will there’s a way, always. The most involved dads I know who travel the most with their children, have the least financial resources. They figure it out, they make it work because it’s important and worth it. No one will care about the extra days or hours spent in the office. It’s bullshit when men say “I can’t leave work”. Can’t or won’t? There are always reasons to not do things, but there are more reasons to do them.    Life is balance, and while I love how much my children do enjoy their summer programs, I’m also really trying to create memories with them with just each other.       

I’ll finish with this. The social bonds that have the potential to be formed and cemented during camp are very special. When I knew I was about to enter into this new chapter of no longer being married, my first phone calls were to two of my camp friends. One I met when I was 10 in camp Hillel. The other at 15 on a teen tour, the same teen tour my daughters  went on. I had not been in regular contact with either for decades, but my instincts and history with them sent me flying back to them as I was jumping off a cliff. I knew they’d catch me, as they had many times when we were kids. J and L❤️❤️ you know who you are. When you know you know, and sometimes the friendships that give you the most require the least. They exist without effort. They become fact in your life, and they are true because they are real. No added preservatives. If camp can give my children friendships like these, then it will all have been worth it.

Listen to The House The Jack Built by Aretha Franklin

Sew I Have This Hat...

I’ve been embracing embroidery lately. It’s fresh, feminine, sure of itself, yet carefree with a boho twist. This Isabel Marant top is a hybrid of the classic peasant top style with a button down. And you know I adore a button down! Since I’ve been super into the silk pajama look this year, I’m fond of this ensemble. The silk pants and button down top definitely feel like a sophisticated take on  dressy pajamas. I love the lightness of the linen top with the gravity of burgundy and navy. It’s a good contrast. This is a beautiful spring brunch look.

Yellow gold accessories give this a primary color vibe, in a good way ❤️💛💙. This fedora with birds on a chain is 20 years old. It remains completely current. The tapered ankles on the pants show off the cute white bootie slides. This is a clean, pretty look that knows what it’s doing. You better believe girly can look solid 🏋🏼‍♀️🧘🏼‍♀️
 

Shakshuka Shaken Up

I’ve been so into shakshuka lately. It’s an Israeli dish in which eggs are dropped into a simmering pan of vegetables and tomato sauce 🍅🥚. Typically the dish involves peppers and fresh tomatoes, but my crew doesn’t eat those veggies🙄. However, I improvised with the kale in tomato sauce that I posted a few weeks ago, and it worked beautifully. Then I sort of started dropping eggs into any vegetable with a tomato sauce base and eating that for dinner several times a week.

Cumin is a signature spice in shakshuka, so I just sprinkle in about a tsp and a half to the tomato sauce mixture before plopping in the eggs (a process I find oddly gratifying). Use 2 to 5 eggs, depending on the pan width. I often save the rest for the next day.

Once the kale and other ingredients are mixed according to the original JESScipe and are at a simmer, just crack the eggs over the sauce. Cover the pan and simmer for about 8 minutes on medium low, until your desired doneness for the yolks are achieved. The results will be delicious poached eggs on top of a seasoned bed of veggies in tomato sauce.

It’s an easy, complete, healthy meal. That and my Lazy Eggplant Parm are my go to dinners. I crave them both at the end of the day, and they both take a few minutes to cook. If my craving involves vegetables, I must be on some sort of right path😋. Tonight I’m making this with zucchini and white beans, since that’s what I have on hand🥒(cucumber or zucchini emoji?). 

More or Less

One of my new life goals is to “do more with less”. I saw this quote on IG a few months ago and loved it. I wanted to commit to this idea. As I’ve carefully scrutinized the relationship between needing to obsessively acquire material things to trick yourself into feeling satisfied, I have become increasingly protective of my inner peace. Meaning, I am at the place where I will fiercely guard the purity of my mental, spiritual, and emotional state. Emotional states are the most interesting of the bunch; sometimes we just need to release our emotions into the Wild West, let them go bonkers, then wait for them to return home for dinner. Emotions are like wayward children with wild streaks ; they just need to air themselves out occasionally. Which means that I have learned to “guard” my feelings by doing the opposite: un-guarding them. This gives me the freedom to feel whatever is needed to be felt with no self judgement or restraint. That alone is major.         

I’m writing this right now on a beach in Tel Aviv. This is the fourth summer in a row I’ve come here, the first time I’m not alone, the first time I’m not in a fancy hotel, and the first time I flew economy (I know; break out the tears and violins). It is also the first time I’m truly at peace and having this much fun. I am traveling with three friends. We range in age from 24 to 40. We are three chicks and one guy. Some of us met here in the Air BNB, while others have known each other for over ten years. All of us are fun, easy going, kind, and intelligent. We are all independent yet function beautifully as a group. I’m the only Jew amongst Italians; another first for me.

Um, newsflash: this is an irrelevant fact I almost didn’t remember to include here. It’s just been a noteworthy part of my personal trajectory.

We are sharing laughs, conversation, clothing, food, toothpaste, and one key. We are hanging wet laundry on a clothesline on our sun drenched porch. This I particularly love, for no other reason than it just feels good and simple to have the sun warm what I’m putting on my body. One of the girls and I are sharing a bed. I like being physically close to people, so I’m cool with that. In high school nine of us would pile in a bed at the end of some silly, teenage night. Those are some of my fondest memories. I’ve always been a homie like that. It’s just fun. It feels communal, close, and connective. It’s amazing how we can over complicate things to the point where we ruin our own experiences. Details can destroy the essence of the moment.  We easily suffocate situations before they are given a chance to take the first breath. As I was telling my new friend Olivia about my background, I said that coming to Tel Aviv every year has been like marking off my height on a wall. These trips have very clearly symbolized major leaps in growth. She loved that analogy, and so did I. It was the first time I’d thought of my life in those terms. It was an interesting comparison.

I was here in November too, and I am amazed at the shit I put up with then while I was here. People, scenarios, and situations that I allowed into my life just a few months ago. Things I wouldn’t entertain for a nanosecond today. I’ve learned so much about how to safeguard myself. What I need and want out of life, how to show up for myself, and what that includes and will absolutely not include. I did not learn these things in my 20’s so I’m learning them now. Education has no time line or time limit. Every lesson feels good. What I’m contemplating right now is the definition of “more vs less”, the basis for this post. When I read that quote on IG, I obviously knew it was a money based idea. I liked it: spend less and need less, but live more. Collect experiences and not things. Life can be enjoyed “with less”. Ok, sure I want that. I can do it. But as I woke up today in an empty apartment (Olivia and James went to Petra, and Federica had already hit the beach), taking my time getting up and gathering my hot towels and bikini off the porch, I was struck with how the typical definitions of “more” and “less” are so inaccurate. It made me chuckle in its “duh” clarity. I had been defining those words incorrectly for so long now, along with most of the world. As I always say, it feels good to be wrong.

On my one block walk to the beach I thought, I am not in a high end hotel but I’m really enjoying sharing this experience with my friends. I have less obvious amenities but am having more fun. I have less maid service but am gaining more enjoyment from having that not matter. I have less privacy but more good company. I have less loneliness and more love. I have less deafening silence and more laughter. I have less self imposed pressure to entertain myself and more fun plans with excellent humans. I have less strategizing about how to spend my time and more ease. I had way less room on the airplane but more satisfaction in not giving a shit. I had less luggage and more simplicity. You get the idea, and so do I. Less confusion and more clarity. Less unrest and more peace. Making more good decisions means having to justify the bad ones less.  One of the truths we all claim to know but don’t put into practice,  is that often the people with the “most” have the “least”, because there’s just not enough superficial stuff in the world to fill any kind of inner void. It’s a bottomless need. A hole in a heart will never be properly soothed that way.

Honestly, more things lead to more problems. Think of how all one needs to cement a beautiful memory into permanence is laughter. Right? You’ll always remember that time you and a friend laughed until you peed. You’ll probably forget which designer made those sunglasses though. Your heart is busy, Man. It keeps you alive. It’s more selective than the mind. It’s the last thing to go when we die. It can’t be fooled. The heart knows what it needs to hold onto to feel fulfilled and genuinely happy. While the head is frantically trying to justify spending on the fanciest suite in the hotel (proof of a seemingly successful trip), the heart is content hanging itself on the simplicity of the outdoor clothesline. Sharing experiences with quality people always feels yummy. I love being by myself too, but I’ve done that for a very long time. It’s losing its appeal. I’m good at it since I’ve had no choice. It is a skill I’ve honed since childhood. I’m proud to be a fully functioning woman. However lately I need less proof of that, which is slowly leading me to more... And that knowledge is enough for me right now. No more, no less. No competition amongst words and their meanings. No tug of war. When you know you’re right the need to prove others wrong evaporates. When you feel truly full your hunger wanes. When your travels take you to the right places you are home.

Listen to Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) by C+C Music Factory

Fade to Black

This dress is a one piece wonder. It’s so well constructed, and it’s the entirety of the look. I usually dress with a few components thrown together, that’s more creative to me, but you can’t deny the sleekness of a beautifully made garment. I normally loathe the way I look in a cap sleeve, but I can deal with it here, I think that’s because of the flattering nipped waist.

The dress is a cool tea length with some crinoline to keep the bottom half of the skirt afloat. The fabric is a soft black with tiny white dots. The ten year old Prada shoes are chic and whimsical. I bought them on a trip to Monte Carlo. The heels are way higher than I prefer, but are required for a dress this glamorous. Sometimes simple dressing just feels nice and clean. There’s an ease to a dress, a shoe, and done. When dealing with one piece, proper cut and tailoring is essential. I did put on this show-stopping dragon tail limited edition, sparkly pave cuff from Noir. I’ve never seen anything like it, and you know I love unique statement jewelry. Sometimes I layer it on, sometimes I’ll go with one piece as the focal point. I usually go with a statement earring in my right ear (my gold safety pins never leave the left), but with this dress I leave the earrings small and simple. Because of the small dot pattern I usually wear a diamond stud or a classic pearl. I like the wrist detail here though. It adds unexpected attitude to the otherwise Audrey Hepburn shape of the dress. Breakfast at Jessica’s anyone?