About a year ago my therapist gave me an assignment. It was to write down in detail as to what kind of man I envisioned myself with. I balked initially but then got enthusiastic about it. She wanted eye color, body type, and any other specific I could think of. It started to sound like a more appealing exercise to me. I could design this male in exact accordance to my desires and specifications. I have had much proof of the powerful force that is manifestation in general. I believe in it. Why not apply it to this? I also am a fan of Dr Joe Dispenza, who teaches that if we imagine and are grateful for our dreams before they are made manifest, then we are inviting said dreams into our lives already. Feeling gratitude for our visions as if they’ve already happened actually creates new neural pathways that draw our visions straight towards us like magnets. It’s incredible how science and spirituality are merging so quickly. I have tried this and it works. I’ll repeat in my mind “thank you so much for x,y,z” over and over. Just imagining whatever scenario I’m calling into reality makes me happy. The happiness is caused by the release of certain chemicals in my brain. My joy and appreciation pulls what I want towards me, as per what the Law of Attraction dictates (Abraham Hicks is the best Source on the Law of Attraction). It’s like the gratitude chemicals magnetically suck what you want into your life. Um, yes please🏼‍♀️. Whatever we focus on multiplies; focusing on the negative just compounds that. Even whining about the rain will just make everything worse. Therefore zeroing in on the positive will energetically increase the good stuff too.

At first my list about the perfect guy included fairly typical traits. I did go into great detail since I’m a descriptive thinker, but there were just certain qualities that did not occur to me to articulate. I thought they were a given. Ha. Nothing in life is given. We earn it by pulling it towards us with hard work, but nothing is for free. Personal commitment and intentional awareness is required. We are rewarded only after we fight for consciousness and unpeel layers of blockages. The magic will indeed come but not on its own. It will come when we partner with Source via active alignment. Basically, how can we expect to receive something we haven’t clearly asked for? A few months ago my therapist had me check and rewrite my list. Again I resisted; what, I had been thorough. I can knock out a good list, thank you very much. She was right though. An old version of me had written the first one. There were things on there that no longer held true for me, and there were certain really important traits missing. For instance, stability. I’m a stable person for the most part. It always surprises me when someone reveals themselves to be lacking in that department. It’s remarkable how many people walking around are completely unreliable, unstable, inconsistent, and totally full of shit. It doesn’t mean these people don’t have what to teach us, but it also doesn’t mean they get to date us. Stable, cleanly intentioned, aligned, awakened, conscious, honest with themselves, someone who doesn’t use superficial forms of escapism to avoid their work. No, my original list didn’t include these. As soon as I began to redraft I felt empowered. I had begun to place my order for what I know I need. To be honest, my original list included someone who is addicted to me. I know why I wrote that, but that’s nuts; any form of addiction isn’t healthy or stable. There’s zero balance in that scenario. That is attachment and not love. I can’t be anyone’s fix, nor should someone be mine. We both need to be super solid on an individual level before coming together. If someone needs to escape in me, which has happened many times, that is a red flag. The attention aspect clouded that for me. My vision is so much clearer now. Being smothered is familiar to me so that’s what I thought I wanted. The absence of obsessiveness made me feel rejected. Whoa; zero equanimity there. My new list includes consistency, reliability, emotional intelligence. I did not write those originally because I didn’t think I was worthy of that (subconsciously). The push and pull in relationships was all I knew. A solid, unwavering midline wasn’t a concept I knew existed. Most married couples I know got together when they were 23. There is almost no shot at finding your own strong sense of balance on your own that young, its developmentally too early. There just hasn’t been enough growth since being a child. Most adults never achieve true balance. This takes time and tremendous dedication. And honesty and courage.

Its incredible; I’ve rewritten my MANifestation list several times. Each time I have, a guy like that was called into my reality. Each time the list gets honed and refined. I’m still learning what kind of partner I need and it’s in direct correlation to the kind of partner I need to be too. The triggers of my former habits pop up like that game Whack a Mole. This is good, it’s a chance to integrate all I’ve studied and work through them. There is no transformation without facing these triggers. Add to list: someone I can talk to about all this stuff cuz he gets it. Partnership isn’t role filling so two people can subscribe to an idea of superficial coupledom. It’s so they can RELATE to one another. In the deepest sense. This is how people grow together, by watering each other. That requires deep kindness, sensitivity, and encouragement. I’ve had enough experiences over the past couple years where I was left bewildered. It’s because I wasn’t asking clearly. We get sent what we need, and what we need is a series of tests that are meant to teach us to level up. These tests will keep coming until we change. Once we graduate, new ones will arrive. I mentally add to my list every day. It’s an exercise that always brings me peace. It’s really thrilling to imagine how things will be with this human. I’ll get it, just watch. Not because I deserve it (which I do) but because it’s simply the Law. Ask and you shall receive. This, my Friends, is how powerful we are. Don’t waste your requests. If they’re going to be granted regardless, make damn sure you’ve thought this through. There is a force out there that wants to give you what you want; you need to be crystal clear on what that is. Your relationship emanates from you. It’s been gratifying and also sad at times to admit that I need to do away with what clearly no longer serves me. No one said change isn’t hard and uncomfortable. I thank my old lists that gave rise to my new ones. May we all harness the innate powers of manifestation for our greatest and highest good.