Bar Mitzvah Musings

 So my son’s bar mitzvah is around the corner. As of today we have a general idea of how we will be celebrating but nothing has been solidified. This is the opposite approach I had to my two daughters’ parties which had me turned into a total bat mitzvah Momzilla✡️. Not the crazy, bitchy, controlling kind. Just the kind who was way too excited because she had nothing else going on in her life and desperately needed a sense of purpose and creative outlet (run on sentence intended). My girls’ parties were magnificent affairs. Every detail was perfect and wrought with symbolism. The color schemes were carefully selected based on their personalities and the seasons in which the party took place. We had more menu tastings than Harry and Meghan ( I don’t buy that whole thing for a minute, btw. There’s no way Kate doesn’t despise her.) There were scripts mapping out the parties to the minute. The invitations had to be just so in order to set the mood of the party prior. As I’m writing this I feel a mixture of humorous self deprecation and embarrassment. Oh, I forgot the videos. If I do say so myself, my videos are kinda legendary amongst my peeps. But for my eldest daughter I cannot believe I made my guests sit through a FORTY FIVE MINUTE montage of her eating ice cream and taking a bath as a baby. I redeemed myself with the hilarious OTHER TWO VIDEOS though, and I still hear six years later that her “Call Me Maybe” Justin Bieber/ Selena Gomez video was the best they’ve ever seen🏻. For my second daughter, brace yourself, a choreographer was hired. I want to shoot myself rereading that. Bottom line, I had been craving a platform to finally get a chance to do my thing. I love decor. I love food and choosing menus. I love the details that make anything chic, fun, fabulous, and memorable. I love the perfect song choice. Aesthetics are a joyful endeavor for me. I’m very decisive and am lucky to work with a brilliant event planner. Andy is a dear friend and one of the funniest and most creative individuals out there. We have a blast together and are always on the same page. I once gave him a magazine article that reviewed a restaurant on the Lower East Side, and instructed him to, “make it look like this”. It was Dirty French btw. I wanted him to give the party the mood of the super chic, hot pink ceramic roosters that adorn the restaurant. He got me immediately. I’d never even been there, I just spotted the review in the New York Times magazine and tore out the page. He said to me two weeks ago at our first meeting for my son that he couldn’t believe how my approach is so vastly different from the first two. He basically told me I was an obsessed lunatic for the girls. I laughed and replied that I have a life now. I’m fulfilled creatively in so many areas and I’m endlessly grateful for that. All the sections of the blog that require creativity, innovation, originality, writing, and attention stretch me in ways I need. DJing feeds my soul. The excitement in putting the right songs together makes me giddy. I dance my butt off when I practice; dancing has always been a need as well. I go to a music school which puts me in a creative environment at least once a week, with people who live and breathe precision and beats. Through the blog I get to collaborate with other Creatives who speak the same language through different mediums. Finally having a means through which to routinely express my ideas has massively taken the edge off. It’s like oxygen deprivation for anyone to bottle up creativity. It erodes you as the frustration builds over the years. I had no place to put my voice, so you’re damn right the lining of the invitations mattered!!!! I look at that version of me, so well meaning and enthusiastic, and I want to hug her. She was so sweet in her extreme joy in being able to showcase her talents, albeit through her kids (an all too common mom move). My life is different today in that I have one. This upcoming party will be fantastic; that’s just how we roll here, we can’t help it. The video will be my best yet. The ideas we are discussing for food will be rad AF. The color scheme has been chosen and indeed reflects both the season and religious significance of my son’s name. The music better rock or else. The speeches will be witty, entertaining, and most importantly, short. But the attitude this time around is very “sure, whatever”.  It feels good to stay on top of the situation and not be consumed by it. It’s important, just not everything. I have other focuses. The results will be the same but with much less effort. How interesting; the unnecessary self imposed pressure is such a metaphor. We can achieve the same results, if not better ones, by putting things in perspective and being in cruise control a little. Over exertion is a false sense of security and control. It’s too much. It’s not beneficial. As I’m learning to release the grip on so many other things in my life, it’s gratifying to be cool about this too. Life is already beautiful and perfect. We can only realize that when we slow down and stop to see it. Deena, this one’s for you: “And now... let’s party!” 🕺🏽🏼🕺🏽🏼