I'm writing this post from Israel, my current favorite place in the world. I'm in the heart of the desert at a gorgeous hotel called Beresheet, which translates to "Genesis". Genesis is the first book in the five books of the Torah. Oh, you didn't realize this was Hebrew school😉? I've been coming to Israel alone for the past three summers. The first two times were for the bar mitzvahs of sons of dear friends. As I reflect back on the last couple years of my life, I am frankly amazed by what a changed person I've become. Prior to my first trip, I was petrified to get on a plane alone. It was just not something I'd ever done without my family. I did not think I could do it. Surely I'd get lost, my passport would go missing, my luggage would be sent to China, what would I do all by myself, who would I hang out with, I didn't know my way around, etc. I had been conditioned to believe I was a helpless moron who needed her hand held throughout life. Fast forward a couple years later, and this solo trip, the longest I'd ever taken, is a completely opposite experience. I feel brave, I feel in control, I feel resourceful. As I've often mentioned, I enjoy mass quantities of solitude. I'm a huge reader. Armed with a large stack of books, my DJ notebook to do homework (though that hasn't happened yet), and my headphones, I felt so ready to go off into the world by myself.

Israel was a good post divorce starting point. I speak Hebrew fairly fluently, and I have some friends here. I have a lot of family here too. In a Jewish country, there is an out the gate feeling of safety and familiarity. It's a country of Peeps. Despite that it's an actual war zone, there is a feeling of inherent security in Israel. Maybe it's because your waiter was likely a sniper in the army💪🏼. I am very proud of the fact that I can be absolutely anywhere myself as long as I can read and write, which I can. I never feel lonely when I'm alone. I never have. While most women seem to require the presence of others to go to the bathroom, I've just never been that person. That quality is serving me well now. The theater, movies, a restaurant, all thoroughly enjoyable by myself. It's actually often preferable, since I don't feel any pressure to make annoying chit chat. I speak very little, which purifies speech altogether. I kinda feel like I'm on one of those silent meditative retreats, a goal of mine at some point. Without the clutter of speech, idle chatter, and gossip, my mind is cleaner. Which in turn leaves me open to soak in my surroundings.

I love nature, and I have a deep appreciation for the elements. Having began my yoga and meditation journey a year ago, I am using all I've learned to powerfully breathe in where I am and who I am. Awareness is an encompassing phenomenon. If you have it in one area, you have it in other areas as well. Staring at the view of my room, which is a massive crater in the desert, I at once feel both powerful and humble. Strength and smallness. A balance of staunch individuality, yet the striking knowledge of being part of a whole entity. I'm so grateful I came on this trip knowing (somewhat) how to meditate and think this way. It's enhanced my time here tremendously. I've done it alone among sand dunes, as well as on a bustling, loud marina in Tel Aviv. When your own voice is loud, it drowns out whatever noise is around you. Though I took a couple of days to visit Beresheet in the Negev, most of my trip is on the beach in Tel Aviv. I am wild about this place. It's a hot, sweaty beach town with an electric nightlife. The energy here is palpable. Every day, I pack up a few essentials in a backpack, and wander around taking it all in. Then I park myself on a crowded beach. For several shekels, I rent a lounge chair and umbrella. Done. No fussing, no deliberating, no wasting time trying to "figure out what to do". I read until it's dark out. I eat all my meals on either the beachside restaurant or at one of the dozens places on the marina. I feel totally safe walking around at night here, something I'd never do at home. I can listen to the ocean forever. I love the sensation of my feet in the sand. I am endlessly amused listening to loud, aggressive Israeli banter. Israel is constantly at the risk of real, life threatening danger. So the people in this country make every minute count. They live fiercely. I fucking love it. At Beresheet, I was hit with the symbolic meaning of the place in direct correlation to my life. This is a new chapter for me, a new beginning. I am creating new storylines for myself. I'm evolving, growing, reaching further points of self actualization. That is my responsibility as a human being, out of gratitude to God for having created me in the first place. Once we are created, and we have begun, we never end. Yes, we die physically, hopefully after a very long time, but our spirits are infinite. We have beginnings, but we do not have ends. We are never finished. Things change shape and form, but they don't vanish. This is my belief, and believing that, even if there's no proof, enriches my life. For the same price, I may as well believe. For the same price, I may as well make the most of my time in this body. Beresheet. Genesis. In the beginning...