Chocolate, Nutty Dried 🍑


Here’s the deal with dried peaches; they reek of ass. It’s undeniable. I like eating them and they’re my favorite dried fruit. That’s saying a lot since Jews and dried fruit have a special relationship. Funny anecdote: several years ago a bunch of close friends and I traveled to Israel for the bar mitzvah of the son of one of our crew members. On the last night in Jerusalem we were all planning on tearing shit up. Clubs, hookah bars, and drinking. Falafel munchies at 2 am. Feel me? We were all excited to be middle aged and free for a night on the town in a foreign country. Fast forward two hours after departing from the lobby and there we were, buying dried fruit and nuts from a kiosk 20 feet from the hotel. Then we went home, the end. Talk about a wild night! It was pathetic and hilarious. I was the only female in the gang, so for me personally it was a waste of a strategically placed belly chain. Oh well, we tried. It was one of those “this is 40” moments.

Funny dried anecdote number two: I was eating one last week in the pantry and my son started gagging and was like, “Jesus, Mom!!!”. See? Ass (I’m aware this tush talk might deter you from making this recipe). However, these little treats are easy to make and are a guilt free indulgence. There’s richness to them which means you won’t overdo it. One should really do the trick.


Dried peaches, the natural kind with no added sugar

A bag of bittersweet chocolate chips melted in a double boiler

And crushed toasted slivered almonds (optional).


Simply dip each peach in some melted chocolate, press into the nuts, and lay face up on a sheet or plate covered in parchment paper. Freeze until the chocolate sets then store in fridge until ready to eat. Check out these pervy emojis 🥜. Sorry, I can’t help it; I still think it’s funny looking up private parts in the dictionary.