I have been thinking a lot lately about the difference between feeling someone changed your life, and knowing that someone caused YOU to change your own life. One sentiment is passive while the other is active. The former denotes we were taking a nap while Prince Charming kissed us awake, thereby resurrecting us while we were unconscious. The latter hints at being receptive to the positive vibrations of those around us, and raising our own to match them. Basically, these peeps inspire us to up our game.
How wonderful to look at someone in your life and know so clearly how you have become better just by having them in your orbit. I have never really subscribed to the “different friends serve different purposes” belief. I’m not interested in pieces of people, certainly not so they can benefit me. That’s not how I see friendship. All of my friends are magnificent, complete human beings. I rely on them not for fragments but for all the good stuff; love, support, humor, sounding boards, company, wing people, advice, etc. However, I do know the ways in which they each make me better. It’s interesting to see with whom I am my wittiest. When I hang with certain people I am on fire in the wit department. I feel the need to start writing my own one woman show immediately, complete with original music and lyrical compositions. Choreography! Costume changes! You get the idea.
I know who influences me to be a better mother, perhaps more patient and less reactive. I know who brings out my best culinary abilities, who encourages my ideas to skyrocket out of my head, who I have the most fun with, with whom I have the deepest, most honest talks. I’m so grateful to the women who have inspired me to be softer and more generous. For my male friends who hang with me like I’m one of the guys, yet will delve with me just as deeply as my closest female friends. The male perspective is often different, so I greatly appreciate their insight. Some of the conversations I routinely have with my guy friends are seriously for the books. From the raucous gut busting laughs to the philosophical and psychological (I’m not friends with idiots). I know which friends, in making music their life’s purpose, have taught me how to make it mine as well. My creative urges are most understood by them. Appreciated by all, but they get it with no explanation. I know exactly who causes me to sharpen my writing. To my friends and mentors in the spiritual community; there are no words. I have one friend who gives me tough love when I need to just hear it hard and straight. She knows who she is. She’s the only person in my life who would/could handle me like that. It takes a village, and I adore my villagers for all they have led me to become. I don’t want anyone to do the work for me. I want to grow and evolve on my own. But when we find those who water our process, we must hold onto them, water them back, and pay that inspiration forward. And always, always tell them how they contribute to your life. Use no restraint when it comes to gratitude. It feels so good for both parties to have that conversation. And to my readers, I may not know all of you personally but you water me too. You give me incentive to grow as a writer, a thinker, and a sharer. So thank you very, very much.